A women brings......

A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter.

Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they are bound to be curious about sex at that age."

"Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her f*cking appendix out!"

Paddy's lying in bed watching babestation. He phones the number at the bottom of the screen and the babe says "hello s3xy and what can I do for you tonight?"

Paddy replies "That sofa you're lying on"

"Yes"

"Can you jump over the back of it and hide?"

"Sure sexy but why?" She asks

Paddy replies "well, the wife's coming up the stairs and I can't find the f*****g remote!"