Thursday humour

>> A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the
>> Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance. Hoping
>> to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British
>> soldier selling regimental ties.
>>
>> The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?" The soldier replied, "There
>> is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead?
>> They are only £10
>>
>> The Taliban shouted, "You idiot infidel! I do not need an
>> over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find
>> water first!" "OK," said the soldier, "It does not matter that you
>> do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that
>> I am bigger than that, and that I am a much better human being than
>> you.
>>
>> If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you
>> will find our Sergeant's Mess. It has all the ice cold water you
>> need.
>>
>> “Inshallah.”
>>
>> Cursing him, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
>>
>> Several hours later he staggered back, collapsed with dehydration &
>> rasped......"
>>
>> They won't let me in without a f-------g tie!”

>

My mate Dave the fireman was in a burning building the other day when he came across a trapped sexy busty 19 year old blonde.

He said "you're the 4th pregnant woman I've rescued this year"

She said "I'm not pregnant"

Dave said, "yeah, and you're not f*cking rescued yet either"

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