50 Shades of Merthyr

50 Shades of Merthyr – “Even though he only had 1 tattoo, I yearned for him to fill those lonely hours between Jeremy Kyle and Loose Women”. As he approached his smile told me it was benefit day and I knew my Lonsdale top would be hanging off the lamp shade tonight. As I stood in line at the Jobcentre, a sweet smell drifted past my pig nostrils. It was a mixture of Weed, B.O and Lynx Africa. I turned around and there was Dai. Our eyes met and he was soon lifting me onto the wheelie bins behind Lidl’s. There was a tramp watching but it just added to the excitement. I knew it was love when I could feel the edges of his sovereign ring rub the rim of my arsehole and my life would never be the same again.

Keep up at the back....

Would be much worse if it was said in that shitty kardiff twang that's goes through me .