Help needed - stag do ideas

Got a stag do coming up, need some sick ideas and tuck ups for the stag, there's some sick and twisted bastards of this forum so I thought it would be a good place to start!

As if your missus would let you out. You live under the thumb, pal. You know it.

Buy a packet of johnnies, take one out, hide the pack in one of his pockets/his bag.

Inject him with pure opium then get one of your surgeon pals(everyone has one) to surgically remove his kidney. Sell it on the black market then use the funds to pay for an amazing trip to VEEEGAS BABY!!!


He'll be mad at first but will know how much of a true friend you are when you show him the tickets.

Hire him a dwarf for the night

Hire him a dwarf for the night

i priced a dwarf for my mates stag in 6 weeks time he wanted £850 for 1night/2days.
he must be worth a small fortune

Get a barge on a canal Chief stopping off at every pub. Each day someone gets put in the Dinghy behind for what ever reason you can think of. And he stays there all day with you lot throwing beer cans to him

Buy him a Jubilee hamper. They will be so happy!