TUESDAY JOKE NIGHT

Apparently Geoff Shreeves just turned up at the Tottenham training ground to tell Harry Redknapp he didn't get the England job.

The FA explain it was finacial reasons for not contacting Harry Redknapp. I guess a new dog bowl, filled with ready made euros, was out of the question....

Last night I tried one of those tricks where you light your farts on fire. I couldn't find a lighter, so I used a candle.

Completely ruined my Grandmothers birthday cake.

Think I put this up already but cant see it any more

An older couple were lying in bed one night. The husband was falling asleep but the wife was in a romantic mood and wanted to talk. She said: "You used to hold my hand when we were courting."
Wearily he reached across, held her hand for a second and tried to get back to sleep. A few moments later she said: "Then you used to kiss me." Mildly irritated, he reached across, gave her a peck on the cheek and settled down to sleep.

Thirty seconds later she said: "Then you used to bite my neck." Angrily, he threw back the bed clothes and got out of bed. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"To get my teeth

Just caught the tail end of the press conference introducing the new England manager.

Surprised they gave the gig to Jonathan Ross...

what does a dwarf get when he runs inbetween a womans legs?

a clit round the ear and a flap round the face

What happens when cardiff city play at wembley

They lose

Chokers

go and kiss your sister goodnight.

go and kiss your sister goodnight.

give her a little bit of fun with your 2 extra fingers too