AN ENGLISHMAN!

and Irishman and a Scotsman are all sitting in a pub having a beer and talking shite together over a few beers.

The Englishman says, "What do you reckon the fastest thing in the world is? I reckon it's thinking."

The other two look at each other. The Englishman says "When you have a thought- BANG it's in your head straight away isn't it? So it must be the fastest thing in the world."

The Scotsmans say "No, you're talking shite. It's light. Every scientist will tell you that Light is the quickest thing in the world- the speed of light and all that."

The Englishman nods in agreement.

Then the Irishman speaks.

"You're both talking bollock. It's diarrhoea."

The other two look at each other.

"What the f**k are you talking about?"

"It has got to be the quickest thing in the world. If you've got diarrhoea you haven't got time to think or turn the f*cking light on.