Joke

My wife just called me.

She said, "Three of the girls in the office have just received some flowers for Valentines Day, they are absolutely gorgeous."

I said, "That's probably why they've received flowers then."

I decided to make a horror film starring a dementia patient.

It's called, "f**k knows what you did last summer".

A six-year-old walks into the kitchen where his mom is preparing a meal and says, "Mom, the last few nights I have woken up to this thumping noise coming out of your bedroom and when I looked to see what it is, you’re sitting on top of dad and bouncing up and down. Why are you doing that?"

The startled mother recovers quickly and she says, "Your dad is a little overweight and I’m trying to get him back to normal size. I bounce on him to get all the air out of him."

The little kid just shakes his head and says, "Mom, you’re wasting your time because, once a week, that nice-looking lady next door comes over & blows daddy right back up!"

A fella asked me what I knew about dwarfs, I said very Little....

I've always been told its not rape if you yell surprise first.

You can imagine the terror I felt as I walked into my first surprise party.

conjunctivitis.com

now thats a site for sore eyes