joke

As I knelt down with a pair of size 4 shoes in front of this sexy blonde in a short skirt, I couldn't resist a quick glance at her knickers.
"Hey cheeky!" she said as she gave me a playful kick. "I bet the only reason you work here is to look up girls' skirts isn't it?"
"That's an absolutely ridiculous accusation, madam," I said sternly. "I don't f*cking work here."

Nice one

During one of our lessons I asked the children what their fathers did for a living.
"My Dad runs the fire station. He's the station officer." Said Simon.
"Very good Simon. Anyone else?"
"My Dad runs the local prison," piped up Billy.
"Excellent Billy. Is he the prison governor?" I asked.
"No Sir, he's just the hardest b*stard in there."

I had a really tough childhood. My mates used to cover me in chocolate and cream and put cherries on my head. It really wasn't easy growing up in a gateaux!