JOKE FRIDAY

Certainly wasn't expecting roast chicken for dinner on my first day in prison, but according to my slightly too friendly new cell mate, 'White meat's back on the menu tonight!'

I was shagging this german girl last night. She didn't speak much english, but I think she wanted me to try out some more adventurous positions.

I mean I've heard of a sixty-nine, but what sort of position is a nine nine nine nine nine?

How do you start a rave in Africa?

Glue toast to the ceiling

Why there are no male agony aunts............... Dear Jim last week I left for work as normal but having only gone a mile my car broke down so i walked home again & arriving unexpectedlyi found my 16yr old babysitter handcuffed 2 the bed in her school uniform with my husband bent over her i am devastated can u help ? .Dear Sally... A common cause for this is dirt in ur carburettor dont let ur fuel drop 2 low in the tank hope this helps ...JIM !!

My Japanese friend is very religious.

He keeps talking about his Praystation.

Why there are no male agony aunts............... Dear Jim last week I left for work as normal but having only gone a mile my car broke down so i walked home again & arriving unexpectedlyi found my 16yr old babysitter handcuffed 2 the bed in her school uniform with my husband bent over her i am devastated can u help ? .Dear Sally... A common cause for this is dirt in ur carburettor dont let ur fuel drop 2 low in the tank hope this helps ...JIM !!

Why there are no male agony aunts............... Dear Jim last week I left for work as normal but having only gone a mile my car broke down so i walked home again & arriving unexpectedlyi found my 16yr old babysitter handcuffed 2 the bed in her school uniform with my husband bent over her i am devastated can u help ? .Dear Sally... A common cause for this is dirt in ur carburettor dont let ur fuel drop 2 low in the tank hope this helps ...JIM !!

SO good you told it twice

My girlfriend has just had a tattoo of a seashell on her inner thigh.If you put your ear up to it, you can smell the ocean

dont know why it chucked out two lol!!!!!but it made me laugh grange