stan collymore

wrote this last night shows it can happen to anybody



t's 4:48am in the morning(Sat 26th Nov 2011),and i'm wide awake.

I decided to tweet my own personal experience of my latest bout of Depression yesterday,and firstly wanted to thank the hundreds of messages from friends,journalists,mental health workers,doctors,and sufferers,as well as well wishers.It's very humbling to read the stories of fellow sufferers,links to blogs,and general experiences of this awful illness.

I want to elaborate on what Depression is for me,as the illness has so many facets,and varies from bout to bout ,that it can be hard to explain to a fellow sufferer,never mind someone fortunate enough to have never been afflicted!


I've spent so much time with Depression sufferers who have anxiety,irrational fear,too much sleep,not enough,that it's hard to pinpoint one "thing" that Depression is or isn't.All i know is that depending on the severity of the bout,it can be made of mainly one or all of these things,so i'll explain this latest bout,and what it's effect is.

I keep myself in really good nick,i run 10k every week day,and only not go to the gym or exercise at weekends,when i commentate on football for talkSPORT.The running i find really has helped massively,as i'm sure you guys that suffer who exercise find,the tangible release of calm,and "being on top of things" powers your internal dynamo,and keeps the black dog from the door.


Around 10 days ago however,i started to feel anxiety,which grew into irrational fear,which in turn turned into insomnia for 3 days(little sleep,and an incredibly active,negative mind),that in turn over last weekend(Swansea v Man United) into Hypersomnia,whereby my energy levels dipped to zero,and my sleep went from 8 to 18 hours overnight.


So i went from last Saturday at the gym,running 10k as i normally do,looking forward to working,to Tuesday morning being unable to lift my head from the pillow, feeling like my body had been drained of any life,my brain "full" and foggy,and a body that felt like it was carrying an anvil around.

So fit and healthy one day,mind,body and soul withering and dying the next.This to me is the most frightening of experiences,and one fellow suffers i'm sure will agree is the "thud" that sets the Depression rolling.

Once it hits,then cause and effect start to kick in.I sleep 18 hours a day,so i don't see sunlight over sometime a period of a week(my worst ever bout,i spent a month in bed),which i'm sure a doctor then would tell me makes the body shut down even further.My personal world grows smaller,i detach from friends and family,partly out of self preservation,partly not wanting them to see the man bounding around days ago,now looks visibly older,weaker and pathetic.


I eat less,my personal space gets smaller,none of the vain grooming of days before,as bathing,washing,and even going to the loo seem almost impossible.So its me,pyjamas,bed and increasingly despairing thoughts of how long this one will last,a tired,desperately tired but wildly active mind burns through its own blue touch paper until the paper ends,and there is simply nothing left.


That's the point when the practicality sets in,and not a nice one(and incredible to think when you finally get well).

Suicidal thoughts.


Thankfully i've not got to that part yet,and in my last 10 years only once or twice has this practical reality entered my head,and practicality its is,unpalatable the thought may be to many.

Why a practicality? Well,if your mind is empty,your brain ceases to function,your body is pinned to the bed,the future is a dark room,with no light,and this is your reality,it takes a massive leap of faith to know that this time next week,life could be running again,smiling,my world big and my brain back as it should be.So what do some do? They don't take the leap of faith,they address a practical problem with a practical solution to them,and that is taking their own life.And sadly,too many take that route out of this hell.


I'm typing and my brain is full,cloudy and detached but i know i need to elaborate on what i'm going through because there are so many going through this that need to know it's an illness,just an illness.Not bad,mad,crazy or weak,just ill,and that with this particular illness,for its sufferers,for family and friends who are there but feel they can't help,you can!

Patience,time,kindness and support.That's all we need.No "pull your socks up",no "get out of bed you lazy git",just acknowledge the feedback the sufferer gives,get them to go to the GP asap,and help them do the little things bit by bit.

That may seem simple but in my experience,and currently as we speak,having a bath,walking for 5 minutes in the fresh air,making a meal,all things that days before were the norm,seem alien,so friends and family can help ,just by being non judgemental,and helping in the background to get the sufferer literally back on their feet.

I hope that if you are suffering,or know someone that does,that a little insight into someone elses experiences might resonate with one or two and give them the comfort of knowing that there are millions out there like us that deal with this reality in our lives.

We contribute like everyone else,so treat us like everyone else.

You are not alone,there are millions of us.

Stan collimore is nothing but an arogant woman beating pervert prick who uses his so called depresion as an excuse for his actions! A total knobead!

Stan collimore is nothing but an arogant woman beating pervert prick who uses his so called depresion as an excuse for his actions! A total knobead!

Your the feckin Knob for writting this post... He's talking about depressive illness which you obviously have no grasp of how debilitating that is to people who suffer from it...try and engage your brain before opening your mouth

Stan collimore is nothing but an arogant woman beating pervert prick who uses his so called depresion as an excuse for his actions! A total knobead!

Poor comments there

that was a very well written peace. I find him very elequant when on talk sport. His knowledge of the game is 2nd to none.

that was a very well written peace. I find him very elequant when on talk sport. His knowledge of the game is 2nd to none.

that was a very well written peace. I find him very elequant when on talk sport. His knowledge of the game is 2nd to none.

that was a very well written peace. I find him very elequant when on talk sport. His knowledge of the game is 2nd to none.

Crikey what happened mate did you get carried away with the submit button

We all make mistakes and we all have demons in our lives, we all don't however put our selves out there on national radio for people to challenge and remind us of those demons and faults......He does and he doesn't have to....Add the O.P to the equation and you still feel the need to badger him about his past!!! Mr'mogreenz, your actions have made you sound like the "total Knobead"..


Castle am i right in thinking that you think "that was a very well written peace. I find him very elequant when on talk sport. His knowledge of the game is 2nd to none" only i cant be to sure thats what you meant...

cos stan collymore really has it bad with his millions flash cars and big house,

wonder how long he would last in our shoes

they all take the rise but they cant handle the fall

Hope you never suffer with depression or any of your family MORON

cos stan collymore really has it bad with his millions flash cars and big house,

wonder how long he would last in our shoes

they all take the rise but they cant handle the fall

Money isnt everything. You cannot buy your way out if depression.
Its about self worth.

further more you obviously dont realise having everything doesent make you happy if your depressed in fact quite the oposite

money makes it worse sometimes,

guy above are you talking to me aka moron in ur post?

iv had some massive down points in life recently aswel, nothing is impossible, depression is state of mind

and theirs always almost underlying reasons , people need to tackle but usually chose to try and avoid

and theirs always almost underlying reasons , people need to tackle but usually chose to try and avoid

Don't talk shit will you... depressive illness has nothing to do with ...' reasons , people need to tackle but usually chose to try and avoid'... do you honestly think that mental illness is a simple as this...!!!

and theirs always almost underlying reasons , people need to tackle but usually chose to try and avoid

Don't talk shit will you... depressive illness has nothing to do with ...' reasons , people need to tackle but usually chose to try and avoid'... do you honestly think that mental illness is a simple as this...!!!

we all have to deal with life equally,
just because one person is weak or more emotional hings its no excuse,

theirs alot worse things than depression and alot of people worse off and dealing with it

Stan collimore is nothing but an arogant woman beating pervert prick who uses his so called depresion as an excuse for his actions! A total knobead!

Your the feckin Knob for writting this post... He's talking about depressive illness which you obviously have no grasp of how debilitating that is to people who suffer from it...try and engage your brain before opening your mouth

Wha? So having deppresion is an ok exscuse to beat up a woman? Dnt make me laugh! I couldn't give a fuk about anything that man got to say! He beat up a woman and used his deppresion as an excuse so fuk him!

Stan collymore is a cock of a bloke who once said on talksport Cardiff city are cheats for signing Craig Bellamy.... So the guys a tool and I couldn't give a flying f**k about his depression... Excuse my French rant over....

Stan collimore is nothing but an arogant woman beating pervert prick who uses his so called depresion as an excuse for his actions! A total knobead!

Your the feckin Knob for writting this post... He's talking about depressive illness which you obviously have no grasp of how debilitating that is to people who suffer from it...try and engage your brain before opening your mouth

Wha? So having deppresion is an ok exscuse to beat up a woman? Dnt make me laugh! I couldn't give a fuk about anything that man got to say! He beat up a woman and used his deppresion as an excuse so fuk him!

Where did he try and excuse his actions by using depression as an excuse.. you have no idea how debilitating depressive illness is.. so STFU...!!

Stan collymore is a cock of a bloke who once said on talksport Cardiff city are cheats for signing Craig Bellamy.... So the guys a tool and I couldn't give a flying f**k about his depression... Excuse my French rant over....

So coz he made a comment about Cardiff thats your view of him and his illness... well to be honest you sound more of a cock than he does...!!

I can't stand the man! Its the fact he used a mental ilness that effects millions of people worldwide to justify his actions! To me he's making a mockery of a soul destroying mental ilness, using it as a kinda get out of jail card!

Stan collimore is nothing but an arogant woman beating pervert prick who uses his so called depresion as an excuse for his actions! A total knobead!

Your the feckin Knob for writting this post... He's talking about depressive illness which you obviously have no grasp of how debilitating that is to people who suffer from it...try and engage your brain before opening your mouth

Wha? So having deppresion is an ok exscuse to beat up a woman? Dnt make me laugh! I couldn't give a fuk about anything that man got to say! He beat up a woman and used his deppresion as an excuse so fuk him!

Where did he try and excuse his actions by using depression as an excuse.. you have no idea how debilitating depressive illness is.. so STFU...!!

There was a program on were he was talkin about his illness, I can't remember what it was called but he was basicly blaming his actions on his depresive illness! And how the fuk do u know I have no idea about deppressive ilnesses? U dnt know me!

I can't stand the man! Its the fact he used a mental ilness that effects millions of people worldwide to justify his actions! To me he's making a mockery of a soul destroying mental ilness, using it as a kinda get out of jail card!

What an ass. End of. Yeah he has made the odd mistake, haven't we all?

I can't stand the man! Its the fact he used a mental ilness that effects millions of people worldwide to justify his actions! To me he's making a mockery of a soul destroying mental ilness, using it as a kinda get out of jail card!

What an ass. End of. Yeah he has made the odd mistake, haven't we all?

What an ass? U american or somrhing? Yeah, we all make mistakes but not all of us go around beating up woman then blame it on deppression! Like I said, I couldn't give a toss about what that man got to say, just like I couldn't give a toss about what any woman beating bully got to say, deppresion or not!

I can't stand the man! Its the fact he used a mental ilness that effects millions of people worldwide to justify his actions! To me he's making a mockery of a soul destroying mental ilness, using it as a kinda get out of jail card!

What an ass. End of. Yeah he has made the odd mistake, haven't we all?

What an ass? U american or somrhing? Yeah, we all make mistakes but not all of us go around beating up woman then blame it on deppression! Like I said, I couldn't give a toss about what that man got to say, just like I couldn't give a toss about what any woman beating bully got to say, deppresion or not!

STFU gobshite

I can't stand the man! Its the fact he used a mental ilness that effects millions of people worldwide to justify his actions! To me he's making a mockery of a soul destroying mental ilness, using it as a kinda get out of jail card!

What an ass. End of. Yeah he has made the odd mistake, haven't we all?

What an ass? U american or somrhing? Yeah, we all make mistakes but not all of us go around beating up woman then blame it on deppression! Like I said, I couldn't give a toss about what that man got to say, just like I couldn't give a toss about what any woman beating bully got to say, deppresion or not!

STFU gobshite

Ahahah STFU gobshite? Wha, because I dnt like kunts who go round beating up woman I'm supposed to shut up lol? If someone beat up yor sister, daughter 0r wife then blamed it on deppresion, would u be so understandin then? Would you Say " 0H WELL NEVERMIND, WE ALL MAKE MISTAKES MATE? I think not fella!