I was so close to having a threesome this afternoon!!

I just needed 2 more people

Nicked that off Sickipedia!

A man and his wife are fighting a divorce case in court. The issue is who should get custody of the child. The wife said: "Your Honor, I brought this child into this world with all the pain and labor. The child should be in my custody." The Judge then asked to the husband: "What do you have to say in your defense?" The man thinks for a while and says: "Your Honor, if I put a dollar in a Pepsi vending machine and a Pepsi comes out. Whose Pepsi is it? The machine or mine?"