Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Fri Oct 21, 2011 6:15 pm
Teacher says to three 5 year olds: "What have you been doing this break?"
"Playing in the sand" says Becky.
"If you can spell 'sand' you can have a sweet" says the teacher. She does so and gets a sweet.
"What have you been doing, Jack?"
"Playing in the sand box with Becky" says Jack.
"If you can spell box, I'll give you a sweet." He does so and gets a sweet.
"What about you, Mohammed?"
"I wanted to play in the sand box with Becky and Jack, but they wouldn't let me."
"Oh dear, that sounds like blatant racial discrimination! If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' you can have a sweet, too."
"Playing in the sand" says Becky.
"If you can spell 'sand' you can have a sweet" says the teacher. She does so and gets a sweet.
"What have you been doing, Jack?"
"Playing in the sand box with Becky" says Jack.
"If you can spell box, I'll give you a sweet." He does so and gets a sweet.
"What about you, Mohammed?"
"I wanted to play in the sand box with Becky and Jack, but they wouldn't let me."
"Oh dear, that sounds like blatant racial discrimination! If you can spell 'blatant racial discrimination' you can have a sweet, too."
Re: Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Fri Oct 21, 2011 6:18 pm
I took the wife bungee jumping last weekend.
She jumped first.
As her neck snapped and her skull split open, spraying blood all over the rocks below, I thought "that'll f***ing teach you to lie about your weight!"
She jumped first.
As her neck snapped and her skull split open, spraying blood all over the rocks below, I thought "that'll f***ing teach you to lie about your weight!"
Re: Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Fri Oct 21, 2011 6:20 pm
When I was just a little girl,
I asked my mother, what will I be?
Will I be pretty, will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me...
"Son, we need to talk."
I asked my mother, what will I be?
Will I be pretty, will I be rich?
Here's what she said to me...
"Son, we need to talk."
Re: Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:52 pm
Went to bed with 3 Thai girls last night.
It was like winning the lottery - they had 6 matching balls!
It was like winning the lottery - they had 6 matching balls!
Re: Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:55 pm
Keep em coming John!! 
Re: Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:55 pm
Re: Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Sun Oct 23, 2011 2:57 pm
SBF1 wrote:Keep em coming John!!
I forgot to text them to Ken. I'll do that now.
Re: Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:04 pm
The Viking god Thor comes to Earth and spends all weekend shagging a mortal woman who has a lisp.
Monday morning comes and as he is a god and feeling a bit guilty for shagging her for 48 hours solid, he explains to her: "I am Thor."
She replies: "you're Thor? I can't even go for a pith!"
Monday morning comes and as he is a god and feeling a bit guilty for shagging her for 48 hours solid, he explains to her: "I am Thor."
She replies: "you're Thor? I can't even go for a pith!"
Re: Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:11 pm
Nedd Glas wrote:SBF1 wrote:Keep em coming John!!
I forgot to text them to Ken. I'll do that now.
He'll crack up at one of them......
Re: Something For The Weekend, Sir? 21/10/11
Sun Oct 23, 2011 3:31 pm
Nedd Glas wrote:The Viking god Thor comes to Earth and spends all weekend shagging a mortal woman who has a lisp.
Monday morning comes and as he is a god and feeling a bit guilty for shagging her for 48 hours solid, he explains to her: "I am Thor."
She replies: "you're Thor? I can't even go for a pith!"