Chuck Norris
Sun Oct 16, 2011 10:19 pm
Go onto Google and type in" Where is Chuck Norris?" and click "I'm Feeling Lucky" Then see what happens 
Re: Chuck Norris
Mon Oct 17, 2011 11:46 am
quality!
Re: Chuck Norris
Mon Oct 17, 2011 12:27 pm
some of these are superb!!
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at speed of light; light travels at speed of Chuck Norris.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck has more money than you.
Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris is the only human being that can kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris can punch you in the soul.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
If it smells like chicken, looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, but Chuck Norris says it's beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris is the only one who can kick ass with both feet on ground.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on dry land.
Do you know why Chuck Norris hasn't got any hair on his balls? Because hair doesn't grow on steel.
Chuck Norris can kick a girl in the balls.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris allowed to live.
When God created Earth, he said: "Let there be light". Chuck Norris said "Say please".
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the light on, he turns the dark off.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for chuck Norris.
The saddest day of a child's life is not when they discover that the Santa is not real, is when they find out that Chuck Norris is.
Do you know why babies cry when they're born? Because they know they've just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris in his leg. After five days of excrucitating pain, the cobra died.
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
The Great Wall Of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out; it failed miserably.
Chuck Norris once traveled to The Virgin Islands; now they're just called The Islands.
Some kids piss their names into snow; Chuck Norris can piss his name in steel.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs; Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever he wants.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from 31st March to 2nd April: no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
Chuck Norris is so fast he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
Chuck Norris doesn't travel at speed of light; light travels at speed of Chuck Norris.
If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck has more money than you.
Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops between the eye.
Chuck Norris is the only human being that can kick you in the back of the face.
Chuck Norris can punch you in the soul.
Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
If it smells like chicken, looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, but Chuck Norris says it's beef, then it's beef.
Chuck Norris is the only one who can kick ass with both feet on ground.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.
Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on dry land.
Do you know why Chuck Norris hasn't got any hair on his balls? Because hair doesn't grow on steel.
Chuck Norris can kick a girl in the balls.
There is no theory of evolution, just a list of creatures that Chuck Norris allowed to live.
When God created Earth, he said: "Let there be light". Chuck Norris said "Say please".
When Chuck Norris enters a room, he doesn't turn the light on, he turns the dark off.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep, he checks his closet for chuck Norris.
The saddest day of a child's life is not when they discover that the Santa is not real, is when they find out that Chuck Norris is.
Do you know why babies cry when they're born? Because they know they've just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
A cobra once bit Chuck Norris in his leg. After five days of excrucitating pain, the cobra died.
The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.
The Great Wall Of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out; it failed miserably.
Chuck Norris once traveled to The Virgin Islands; now they're just called The Islands.
Some kids piss their names into snow; Chuck Norris can piss his name in steel.
Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9% of germs; Chuck Norris can kill 100% of whatever he wants.
Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from 31st March to 2nd April: no one fools Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
Chuck Norris can speak braille.
Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.