Joke Wednesday

I went to the high street with my wife today.

I said to her, "That shop over there does clothes especially for fat people."

She said, "Are you embarrassed of me?"

I said, "What love? No, what makes you say that?"

She said, "Just put down the phone and come over this side of the road."

My wife is so fat that I have to shag her in the dark. I am fed up with burning my Arse on the light bulb

I know its old but my favourite my wife is so fat joke is..

My wife is fat that her blood type is Ragu.

The Scarecrow didn't have the brains, Tin Man didn't have the heart, and the Lion didn't have the courage.

So Dorothy remained a virgin.

Scientists have found that dogs and humans share the same DNA.

This would explain why my wife's a bitch, my kids hate a bath and, if I could, I would lick my own balls.

This guy from over the road was talking to me earlier.

"My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the milkman," he confided.

"What? That fat ugly fucker I see every morning outside your house?"

"Yes," he laughed, cheering up.

"Why would Dave the milkman want to shag that?"

This guy from over the road was talking to me earlier.

"My wife's just told me she's been having an affair with Dave the milkman," he confided.

"What? That fat ugly fucker I see every morning outside your house?"

"Yes," he laughed, cheering up.

"Why would Dave the milkman want to shag that?"