QUICK ONE LINERS......

A good pal of mine was lways taking the Friday shift off when he was on nights. Loads of bollockings, loads of warnings, written warnings and then procedures were started.

Ended up in a full blown disciplinary hearing. Four man panel, inc company HR and legal reps. My pal and his union guy.

The meeting started....."Andrew, we are concerned about the situation and concerned for you and whether anything is wrong. So tell me, why do you only work 4 night shifts a week?"

"'cos I can't survive on 3!"

The union man pissed himself and he got off!

Reminds me of this story:

Was working and we had a new Australian kid in, he was only there for a few weeks and was so laid back it was unreal, in the end the boss went up to him and warned him " I got my eye on you" Everyone just stopped and starred, to which the kid said with a straight face " Ah great I could do with someone watching out for me" everyone just broke up!!

tbf you'd have probably have had to be there!

Mate of mine went for a job interview in the prison service during which he was asked "what is your impression of the prison service today"?

He replied "I'm sorry I don't do impressions"

Needless to say he didn't get the job!!

I always wondered why frisbies get bigger the closer they get to you, and then it hit me!

I can't spell armageddon, but it's not the end of the world!