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*JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:48 pm

GO..

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:49 pm

Swansea :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:50 pm

glammy74 wrote:Swansea :lol:


:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:51 pm

My missus said she wanted a romantic night in this Valentine's watching Rom-coms.
Me being the ever romantic I lit a candle and fucked off down the pub. :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:53 pm

Today my flat mate accused me of stealing her knickers off the washing line.

Cheeky bitch...What would I want with her knickers off the washing line?

It's the soiled ones I'm interested in. :shock: :shock: :shock: :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 6:58 pm

I sent my wife Katie a Valentines Day card. It read;

"To my Katty,
I want to fill you in the way you filled my soul."

f*cking Moonpig, they got the K's and the F's mixed up. :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:01 pm

a horse walks in to a bar,,, treble whiskey please barman,,, tough day eh, said the barman, yeah replied the horse, 2 of my mates got electrocuted today :roll:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:06 pm

How would you describe the difference between Love and True Love?

Spitting and Swallowing ;) ;) ;) ;) :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:18 pm

I bought my Missus a new bag and belt for Valentines Day but I don't know why I bothered.

I thought at the very least she'd be happy the vacuum cleaner was working better. ;) ;) ;) ;)

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:24 pm

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I'm using my hand,
But I'm thinking of you. :D

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:25 pm

today, when most men are balls deep inside their girlfriends, spare a thought for every lad with the wrong time of the month.. :shock: :o :ayatollah: :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:30 pm

ccfcgrangeend wrote:today, when most men are balls deep inside their girlfriends, spare a thought for every lad with the wrong time of the month.. :shock: :o :ayatollah: :lol:

My favourite time of month! You know what they say "if the reds blocking the pink, screw back for the brown!". Nothing like a good anal intrusion to show how much you love it! I mean her :D

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 7:40 pm

IsThatUJohnWayne wrote:
ccfcgrangeend wrote:today, when most men are balls deep inside their girlfriends, spare a thought for every lad with the wrong time of the month.. :shock: :o :ayatollah: :lol:

My favourite time of month! You know what they say "if the reds blocking the pink, screw back for the brown!". Nothing like a good anal intrusion to show how much you love it! I mean her :D


Brilliant :ayatollah: :ayatollah:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 8:01 pm

Roses are Red
Violets are Twisted
Open your legs
Your about to get FISTED :ayatollah: :ayatollah:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 8:10 pm

Wales are red
Cardiff are blue
Got both them
So I don't need you :D

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 8:24 pm

castleblue wrote:How would you describe the difference between Love and True Love?

Spitting and Swallowing ;) ;) ;) ;) :lol:


Love bites on the haemorrhoids? :shock: :D

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:49 pm

IsThatUJohnWayne wrote:
ccfcgrangeend wrote:today, when most men are balls deep inside their girlfriends, spare a thought for every lad with the wrong time of the month.. :shock: :o :ayatollah: :lol:

My favourite time of month! You know what they say "if the reds blocking the pink, screw back for the brown!". Nothing like a good anal intrusion to show how much you love it! I mean her :D

:lol: :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:56 pm

Why did God invent yeast infections?

So that women too would know what it's like to live with an irritating c**t! :shock: :o :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:56 pm

If Jimmy has to have 14 shirts ironed by 4:30, and it is 3:00 now, and only 1 shirt can be ironed every 10 minutes:

How hard does Jimmy need to beat his wife to get the ironing finished on time?

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Mon Feb 14, 2011 11:57 pm

Life with my blind girlfriend has been hard work since her guide dog died.
I've had to show her the door. :shock: :shock: :shock: :lol:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Tue Feb 15, 2011 12:33 am

A Valentines Day Card fell onto my door mat this morning.I put it straight in the bin because I knew exactly who it was from.it was my postman, I saw him walking up the driveway, the f*cking queer c**t :ayatollah: :ayatollah:

Re: *JOKE THREAD 14TH FEBRUARY 2011*

Tue Feb 15, 2011 6:03 am

Aye Aye Sailor.
An old retired Sailor puts on his old uniform and heads to the Docks, once more for old time sake.
He engages a prostitute and takes her up to a room.
He's soon going at it as well as he can for a guy of his age. But needing some reassurance, he asks," how am I doing"?
The prostitute replies, " well old Sailor, your doing about 3 knots".
Three Knots he asks, " What's that suppose to mean"?
She says, " Your Knot hard, Your Knot in, and Your Knot getting your f-cking money back. :D :D :D :ayatollah: