couple of jokes

a little boy in class,,, the teacher asks him,,,, if i gave you 2 rabbits,,then gave you another 2 rabbits, how many would you have,, the boy replied,5 miss,, ok i will put it another way, if i gave you 2 apples then gave you 2 more apples, how many would you have,,,,,,, 4 miss,,, well done said the teacher, so, if i gave you 2 rabbits then gave you 2 more, how many would you have,,? the boy replies, 5 miss, the teacher replies,how do 2 rabbitts + 2 rabbits make 5, the boy sez, i got 1 at home miss

david blanes world record for sitting in a box for 42 days,doing nothing, has been broken, the new record holder, wayne rooney was unavailable to comment,,


went to a muslim party earlier on, musical chairs was ok, put pass the parcel was f*cking fast

if bothroyd leaves in january, cardiff city have 3 replacements ready, darren bent,ashley young, and robbie kean, the club spokesman said, the players we want are, young kean and bent

A dwarf with a lisp goes into a stud farm "I'd like to buy a horth"
he says to the owner of the farm.
"What sort of horse?" said the owner.
"A female horth." the dwarf replies.
So the owner shows him a mare.
"Nithe horth." says the dwarf, "Can I thee her eyeth?"
So the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses eyes.
"Nithe eyeth.", says the dwarf, "Can I thee her teeth?"
Again the owner picks up the dwarf to show him the horses teeth.
"Nithe teeth....can I see her eerth?" the dwarf says. By now the owner
is getting a little fed up but again picks up the dwarf to show him the
horses ears.
"Nithe eerth.' he says 'Now...can I see her twot?" With this the owner
picks the dwarf up by the scruff of his neck and shoves his head deep
inside the horses vag*na. He holds him there for a couple of seconds
before pulling him out and putting him down.
The dwarf shakes his head and says: "Perhaps I should weefwaze
that...can I see her wun awound?"

A 4'1" psychic prisoner has escaped from a London gaol.

The police have released a statement saying that "There's A small Medium at Large!

David Cameron has announced he intends to make it more difficult to claim benefits.

From next week the forms will only be printed in English.

A 94 year old chap is tending to his front garden when he sees a frog. The frog says to him "If you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess, you can do what you want with me and I’ll be your sex slave forever".

So the guy picks the frog up and puts it in his pocket. The frog says "Didn’t you hear me? I said if you kiss me, I’ll turn into a beautiful princess, you can do what you want with me and I’ll be your sex slave forever".

"At my age?" says the guy, "I’d rather have a talking frog".

why are paracetomols white?

beacause they work

somebody is posting paki"s through my letterbox i think i am being blackmailed

I texted my boss, "What's the difference between this morning and your daughter?"
He answered, "I don't know."

I replied, "I'm not coming in this morning."

went to zoo the other day ,only had one animal it was a dog.

It was a shih zhu