joke time

my husband is so f*cking fat,when he fell down the stairs i thought eastenders was finishing!

A man walks into a bar and asks for 15 whiskey on the rocks. He downs them all one after the other and says to the barman, ' I really shouldn't of done that with what I've got'.

The barman replies, ' Why? What have you got?'

To which the man replies, ' £2.50!'


Made me chuckle anyway

i told my girlfriend ihad a cock like a computer, she asked if it was cos it had loads of ram and a big hard drive ...oh the suprise she got when she found out. it was micro sokt with a virus!

Bought my wife a pair of Liverpool Knickers today!! Two Yanks and they are down

Bought my wife a pair of Liverpool Knickers today!! Two Yanks and they are down

your a thief chief.

Bought my wife a pair of Liverpool Knickers today!! Two Yanks and they are down

your a thief chief.

I gather you posted that elsewhere Chief sorry no i fecking aint

Bought my wife a pair of Liverpool Knickers today!! Two Yanks and they are down

your a thief chief.

I gather you posted that elsewhere Chief sorry no i fecking aint

i walked into a shop and put my willy on the counter, and the woman said you've read the sign wrong it says clock repairs. so i said can you put 2 hands and a face on this!

and to quote tim vine on soccer am

max "you have a joke about any subject?"
Tim "i can try"
hells bells "lettuce"
Tim "i havent got a joke about lettuce"
hells "why havent you got a joke about lettuce?"
tim " just cos! thats just the tip of the iceberg!"