Sat Nov 14, 2020 9:33 am
Sat Nov 14, 2020 9:37 am
Sat Nov 14, 2020 10:13 am
Sat Nov 14, 2020 10:50 am
Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:09 pm
Sat Nov 14, 2020 12:26 pm
FOOTSOLDIER wrote:I pay £350 a month for 1 son who I have every weekend. I don't mind paying the money however I feel like I am the villain when speaking to CSA. I also the think the majority of the payment should be in vouchers for food, utilities etc so the money isn't squandered on nights out.
Sat Nov 14, 2020 5:50 pm
Bakedalasker wrote:FOOTSOLDIER wrote:I pay £350 a month for 1 son who I have every weekend. I don't mind paying the money however I feel like I am the villain when speaking to CSA. I also the think the majority of the payment should be in vouchers for food, utilities etc so the money isn't squandered on nights out.
I'm not 100% how they work it out but that does seem quite excessive even for a high paid person.
I paid £500 for my 3 kids and I was told that was excessive. I paid it because 1. I could afford it and 2. the ex was reluctant to bring in the CSA because she feared she would get less. I also bought a house outright so the ex could home my kids and have a roof over their heads if anything did happen to me. Some say I was a mug but all the way through it I had a clear conscience.
The ex became Housebound a few years later due to alcoholic abuse. We changed the arrangement for her to buy food online. I set up an account that she could use for online shopping. It gave me more control on what she spent the money on which worked out well. However I had to fund her alcoholism.
I seek advice on her alcoholism and was told she had to be weined off it. If she was denied it her body would react is a derogative way that could kill her. Two years ago she was rushed into hospital where they gave her an "alternative" to her alcohol intake. Five days later she was dead. Although I was uncomfortable funding her drinking I'm now sure it was the right thing to do. Once again my conscience is clear.
I agree with you regarding vouchers etc etc. My experience above supports that. Try not to feel the victim as you are doing the right thing. Good luck with it all as its not an easy road to go down.
Sat Nov 14, 2020 5:52 pm
Blueman39 wrote:Hate guys who don’t pay for their kids or who pay the minimum....I didn’t earn much but paid the full whack and sucked it up .
If he could afford to gamble he could afford maintenance
Sat Nov 14, 2020 6:35 pm
Tony Blue Williams wrote:Blueman39 wrote:Hate guys who don’t pay for their kids or who pay the minimum....I didn’t earn much but paid the full whack and sucked it up .
If he could afford to gamble he could afford maintenance
Fully agree.
Sat Nov 14, 2020 8:25 pm
Sat Nov 14, 2020 10:01 pm
Sat Nov 14, 2020 10:49 pm
RV Casual wrote:There's good and bad on both sides of this.
My mates daughters Dad pays her 25 quid a week and has her one night a week and that's it. Clothes, food, School Trips, the roof over the child's head for 6 days a week my mate pays for the lot and captain dickhead thinks he's a hero for stumping up £100 a month, doesn't scratch the surface, absolutely shameful in my opinion. I'm. Not sure how you would work it out or what is a fair amount but if you father a child you should pay up. That £25 just about covers the little girls school dinners ffs
Sun Nov 15, 2020 9:30 am
Bakedalasker wrote:FOOTSOLDIER wrote:I pay £350 a month for 1 son who I have every weekend. I don't mind paying the money however I feel like I am the villain when speaking to CSA. I also the think the majority of the payment should be in vouchers for food, utilities etc so the money isn't squandered on nights out.
I'm not 100% how they work it out but that does seem quite excessive even for a high paid person.
I paid £500 for my 3 kids and I was told that was excessive. I paid it because 1. I could afford it and 2. the ex was reluctant to bring in the CSA because she feared she would get less. I also bought a house outright so the ex could home my kids and have a roof over their heads if anything did happen to me. Some say I was a mug but all the way through it I had a clear conscience.
The ex became Housebound a few years later due to alcoholic abuse. We changed the arrangement for her to buy food online. I set up an account that she could use for online shopping. It gave me more control on what she spent the money on which worked out well. However I had to fund her alcoholism.
I seek advice on her alcoholism and was told she had to be weined off it. If she was denied it her body would react is a derogative way that could kill her. Two years ago she was rushed into hospital where they gave her an "alternative" to her alcohol intake. Five days later she was dead. Although I was uncomfortable funding her drinking I'm now sure it was the right thing to do. Once again my conscience is clear.
I agree with you regarding vouchers etc etc. My experience above supports that. Try not to feel the victim as you are doing the right thing. Good luck with it all as its not an easy road to go down.
Sun Nov 15, 2020 12:08 pm
thomasblue wrote:
Its not always black and white though , every single case is different .
For example i know a guy who was never told about his kids existence after a short relationship until the kid was 3 and he had a letter from the csa saying he owed money for three years non payment. He is also at the moment ( court case pending ) not allowed to see the child as the mother has a new partner and the kids thinks he's the dad. Is it fair he has to pay ?
What about a guy who has lost his wife through cancer and is now bringing up his 2 kids alone, he has a previous child through a former relationship but is now not able to work full time so can only afford basic payment. Is it fair to hate on him because of awful luck in his life ?
Chopras case sounds different but nobody really knows the true facts only what is written on a newspaper that is more than likely only half the story.
Has been paid a large up front payment in the last with smaller payments weekly ?
Is there a question over paternity?
Is he actually broke, unemployed and on income support so pays the minimum £6 a week out of that like thousands of other blokes in the country ?
Was he paying fully for years until he lost everything gambling and now the wife is still demanding the thousands a week he was paying when he was playing?
There will be a truth behind this but nobody should jump to conclusions until the actual facts are out. Saying you hate poleople like him is harsh when you don't know the full story .
Sun Nov 15, 2020 6:36 pm
Sun Nov 15, 2020 6:56 pm
Sun Nov 15, 2020 7:41 pm
Blueman39 wrote:Yes my comments are aimed at fathers who can pay but choose not to.
There are sometimes complications but the stats say that 50% of fathers have not contact or pay no maintenance within 2 years of a separation.
Some people choose not to pay ...Chops knew he would have to support his children wether he was with her or not and made enough to cover that.
Some guys take 2 jobs to make their payments.
Mon Nov 16, 2020 10:52 am
thomasblue wrote:Blueman39 wrote:Yes my comments are aimed at fathers who can pay but choose not to.
There are sometimes complications but the stats say that 50% of fathers have not contact or pay no maintenance within 2 years of a separation.
Some people choose not to pay ...Chops knew he would have to support his children wether he was with her or not and made enough to cover that.
Some guys take 2 jobs to make their payments.
Do you have a link to these stats ?
I would say a lot of fathers refuse directly after a separation because the women is being harsh and using the kids against the father to get back at him. Which in turn makes the father say f**k it i will withhold money until you let me see the kids.
Happens all the time. Normally its the women using the kids as a weapon that starts the process.
The fact still remains we do not know why he is only paying £6 ( if that is actually true ) judgement should be spared until facts are known.
Mon Nov 16, 2020 6:58 pm
Tony Blue Williams wrote:thomasblue wrote:Blueman39 wrote:Yes my comments are aimed at fathers who can pay but choose not to.
There are sometimes complications but the stats say that 50% of fathers have not contact or pay no maintenance within 2 years of a separation.
Some people choose not to pay ...Chops knew he would have to support his children wether he was with her or not and made enough to cover that.
Some guys take 2 jobs to make their payments.
Do you have a link to these stats ?
I would say a lot of fathers refuse directly after a separation because the women is being harsh and using the kids against the father to get back at him. Which in turn makes the father say f**k it i will withhold money until you let me see the kids.
Happens all the time. Normally its the women using the kids as a weapon that starts the process.
The fact still remains we do not know why he is only paying £6 ( if that is actually true ) judgement should be spared until facts are known.
Your comments that women use children as 'weapons' is very true. That said it is also true that they don't allow access because the Father doesn't pay towards the child's upbringing which is quite a different thing.
Actually in both circumstances the parents are wrong. The Mother should never stop her children seeing their Father even if the Father doesn't pay a penny in Maintenance. Alternatively a Father should-not stop paying CM because the Mother has denied access. Trouble is in such circumstances emotions takeover and it is hard for either to act rationally.
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.u ... e-2019.pdf
The above link has compliance at 67% in 2019. Whilst this is a reasonably good figure it still means 33% of Father's (or in smaller numbers Mothers) make no contribution.
As for Chopra we are allowed an opinion. The article claims he has arrears of £15000 in child support. Arrears occur when the person libel for the payments fails to make them. Chopra may well have his difference with his ex-wife but that doesn't absolve him of his responsibilities.