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The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Fri Jun 26, 2020 8:24 pm

The hidden suffering of Jazz Richards, the Cardiff City footballer ready to talk as he looks to a better future

The Wales international has left Cardiff City after four years at the club, but is fit, determined and hungry for the next challenge which lies ahead



By Glen Williams

Friday 26th June 2020


JAZZ RICHARDS:


"I was in a dark place. I wanted to give up on football completely.”

"Before the virus, when we all broke up, I played 12, 13 games, but missed the last two," he says.

"I went through a few weeks of depression. I've never been open about it, it's the first time I've ever spoken to anyone about it.

"I should have done it a long time ago, but I was just fighting to get back fit, fighting to impress, fighting for a new contract.

"The last couple of games were probably the worst games of my career, because I had so much on my mind.

"I was going into games and within the first five minutes I was wanting the final whistle to be blown. I didn't want to be there and I didn't want to play.

"At that point, I knew my time at Cardiff was up, regardless of how positive the manager has been with me."

Opening up about tackling his issues was, he admits, an ordeal and at first he resisted it. But he now understands the importance of placing trust in those around him.

Neil Harris said last week his relationship with Richards is very strong and the defender corroborates that. Indeed, Richards confided in the manager when he knew he needed help.



"I spoke to my family, I spoke to a couple of friends and I spoke to the manager," he says. "Eventually I went to see a psychologist, which I never wanted to do.

"I only went to see him once, but I knew it was depression, because I was in such a dark place.

"I was coming home from training, I wasn't really speaking to anyone and then I was going in the next day and it was repeated, doing the same thing all the time.

"It was kind of like... not giving up, but I was done with Cardiff. I was going into training thinking, 'I don't even want to train'.

"Now, that has never, ever been me. You can ask anyone. I go into training 110 per cent without fail.

"There was a lot of stuff building up inside that just got on top of me in the end. But I have never wanted to use that as an excuse for what happened at the last few games at Cardiff."
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Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Fri Jun 26, 2020 8:26 pm

JAZZ RICHARDS:




"My last game was at Stoke away," he says. "Maybe three or four games before that I had to speak to my agent on the phone before the game, because I was getting crazy anxiety.

"I was going through the motions of: 'I know what I can do, I've done this before, I've played internationals'.

"But within 30 seconds, I would be like: 'I'm not good enough. I don't want to be here'.

"It was crazy, everyone gets nervous before games and I've had nerves before, in the majority of games I've played in, but the anxiety I was going through was making me feel sick.

"I was in the changing room before the games not even speaking to anyone and I had to go out on to the pitch with all of them, having not even said a word to them.

"That's when I just knew and I spoke to the manager about it. I said to him, 'look, I need a fresh start' and he was ever so supportive of me."

His words are so jarring to hear. Because barring a couple of sub-par performances, to which Richards alludes, he enjoyed a string of solid outings for the Bluebirds, which is evidence of just how much of a silent tormentor mental health issues can be.
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Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Fri Jun 26, 2020 8:29 pm

JAZZ RICHARDS:





But how did it get to this?

When it was this week announced that Richards would leave the club, the overwhelming sentiment from Bluebirds fans was that he had done well when he played, but they just hadn't seen enough of him over the last four years.

That is largely down to his succession of injury troubles, but the notion that he was always injured is one he takes exception to.

While he admits he had his fitness issues at Cardiff, he claims previous manager Neil Warnock would often posture and propagate the idea that his problems were quite severe, when in fact he was ready to play.

"Look, there's no bitter taste whatsoever, what's happened has happened," he says of his time under Warnock.

"I've read that I've missed 80 games or something through injury, but that isn't the case at all. I've probably missed half of that, but all the other games have been due to other stuff, maybe being left out of the squad and then being put down to injury, which is very frustrating."
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Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Fri Jun 26, 2020 8:32 pm

Warnock famously said that, after Richards had suffered an ankle issue, he had seen "lads with broken legs recover quicker than him".


JAZZ RICHARDS:


"I remember that very clearly. But five weeks later I found out I had a two-inch fracture in my ankle," Richards says, stating the problem was worse than initially let on in the press.

In truth, his time under Warnock, who this week took over as boss of Middlesbrough, was often quite frustrating.

He says during the Premier League season, he was desperate to play and fully fit, but when he confronted the then Bluebirds boss over why he was getting no game time, there was little explanation.

"I don't know what it was, but it was like I was never going to play in front of Pelts [Lee Peltier], regardless of the situation," he adds.

"Pelts has been one of the best full backs in what he does throughout the league in 10 years, so it was difficult for me.

"But it got to a point where I was having conversations with Warnock in his office and he just couldn't give me a straight answer.

"The season in the Premier League, I was fit and raring to go. We played Bournemouth first game and then after that he dropped Pelts and put Bruno Manga right back, where he happened to play most of the season.

"I'm there thinking, 'I'm a right back here. You've taken Pelts out of the team, why are you not putting me in?'"

Richards says Warnock would openly praise him in front of the squad, telling him he'd been on fire in a particular training session, but come Saturday, he would be omitted from the squad.

"I could just see then it was a problem," he says. "Not just with me, but a number of the boys were getting treated the same way.

"In the end, I don't know whether it was me as a person he didn't like, which is hard to believe, I don't know what it was.

"However well I trained, however hard I trained, I was not going to play. That was frustrating."

The 29-year-old says it was incredibly difficult to set the record straight about his injuries, or lack of them, because he couldn't speak against the party line while he was contracted to the club.

But it soon became a bafflement to those around the club, he says, and those close to him began to question him on just why he wasn't getting his opportunities.

It all led to him seriously considering hanging up his boots for good.

"I was having players coming up to me, my own team-mates, asking me what was going on and why I wasn't playing," he says.

"I'd have fans coming up to me, even staff were saying to me that it was weird I wasn't playing.

"From then, I was like, 'I'm done with football'. It's so politically wrong and corrupt in some senses. There were many occasions [I thought about it]. I said it to some of the boys and I said it to my family.

"The answers I would always get back to me were, 'Jazz, you are 27, 28, what are you thinking? There are places [you can go to] other than Cardiff'.

"But, because I wasn't in the shop window and playing, these teams weren't seeing me. Plus, if it kept coming out that I was injured then I've got no hope.

"So I was kind of like, 'do you know what, the way football is going, I just don't want to be a part of it.”

He continually stresses this is now water under the bridge for him. He is not bitter but is quite understandably a little jaded with frustration.

When Neil Harris came in back in November, however, it represented a new lease of life for the right back.

In one of the manager's first press conferences he stated Richards was one of the best in his position in the Championship and wanted him to play a big part moving forward.

That, Richards says, was music to his ears and provided him with a timely and invaluable boost, just when he needed it most.

"I saw those quotes come up on WalesOnline, but he hadn't said anything to me," he says.
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Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Fri Jun 26, 2020 8:35 pm

JAZZ RICHARDS:



"I saw those quotes come up on WalesOnline, but he hadn't said anything to me," he says.

"He came in and said that straight away to the press and I was thinking, 'wow, that's crazy!'

"When I saw that, I thought, 'if this doesn't give anyone the kick then nothing will'."

He finally fought back to full fitness, earning praise for an excellent performance in the draw with Preston, and sought to get back up to full match sharpness.

But the ever-darkening cloud of his contract situation loomed large over his head and it soon became too much to take.

"I've loved Cardiff, I've loved being there. That's where I wanted my career to end," he admits.

"But I was just fighting a losing battle.

"I was playing, the fans were praising me, the manager was praising me, to me personally and openly in the press, but then there was nothing coming back from the executives of the club.

"I was playing the games, doing well up until the last two or three games, knowing nothing was coming. That's when I was in a dark place and wanted to give up on football completely."

But it was the fans, he says, who gave him great strength during those dark periods.

"The fans have been unbelievable with me," he says. "The times I was injured, the times when I wasn't getting in the squad, they have always been massively supportive towards me.

"That's one thing that will always stay with me, that's for sure."

However, it was the seemingly deafening silence from the boardroom which added to his mounting stress, not knowing whether he would be employed in a couple of months' time.

Danny Ward, of course, was in the same situation.

"I've said to Wardy on so many occasions that any club in the Championship should want to sign him," Richards adds.

"He is unbelievable. He has not had the chances he deserved at Cardiff.

"The fans sing his name before he even gets on the pitch. I know it's been frustrating for him as well, but I hope something can get sorted for him because he deserves it."

Ward has signed a short-term extension until the end of the season, but Richards opted against that for himself.

It was the right time for everyone to cut ties, Richards says, which he admits is a little unfortunate, given his love for the Bluebirds and his positive relationship with Harris. His exit is not acrimonious in the slightest.

He says he didn't want to take advantage of the club, taking a paycheck for the last nine games when he probably wouldn't have played. He needed to look after himself, too, keeping fit for the next opportunity.

Richards, who has 14 Wales caps to his name, also still has international aspirations burning in the background, but concedes he has a job on his hands if he is to force his way back into the reckoning.

"I'd never write off internationals," he adds. "But at the same time now they have youngsters there who are unbelievable.

"Connor Roberts, really good and playing week in, week out at Swansea, Neco Williams is coming through at Liverpool and he is unbelievable.

"But if I was called upon it would be great."




"I'll keep my options open," he says, keeping his cards close to his chest. "There has been some interest, it's a bit of a crazy time, so no one really knows what's going on.

"I just have to make my mind up and decide what it is I want to do."

Wherever he ends up, though, it is fair to say that club will be adding a quality full back to their ranks.
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Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sat Jun 27, 2020 6:58 am

As folk know, I'm no fan of Warnock but seems to me this boy wants to blame anyone bar himself!
Look, depression is a terrible thing but it seems in this day and age it is all to easy to tick that box as we all have worries and most are not in his privileged position of being highly paid ( money not everything,I know but it helps )
I might be more inclined to listen to his story of being in a dark place if he wasn't posing in front of bottles and bottles of wine!!!

Nice to see his agent has already got him some offers of a fresh start but was quite happy to stay at Cardiff and collect wages when supposedly injured.

Anyway, whatever another sponger off the wage bill can only be good.

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sat Jun 27, 2020 7:29 am

If the truth is he has been struggling with depression and anxiety why did they not just tell the fans the truth.

He has been getting a lot of stick for constantly being injured and picking up wages for pretty much nothing whilst Cardiff fans work there ass off to buy season tickets them watch players take a fortune whilst giving nothing back.

Cardiff fans would have supported him and been a lot more sympathetic if they just told the truth. He would have found a lot more support through his struggles if he and the club were honest about it.

Trust me Anxiety attacks are awful and I can see why a player suffering from them would not be able to mentally play football.

Maybe he is in the wrong career both mentally and physically.

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sat Jun 27, 2020 10:33 am

If he is depressed earning big wages and stealing a living, then when he has to get up at 430am and go to a factory and work his backside off for 12 hours, that is the time that will hit him hard and make him realise how privileged he was. No club will take a chance on him with injury and mental problems I feel.
Personally I've no pity for the guy whatsoever

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sat Jun 27, 2020 11:33 am

He's getting anxiety probably because he has been so injury prone and scared he is one tackle away from another long term spell on the sofa.
He will never be poor, he has had chances other people can only dream about.
I think he must be feeling some guilt for the money he has been paid (in copious amounts) and not delivered in the slightest.
The gravy train has hit the buffers now. Im sure he has invested his money wisely though. Good luck with the next chapter in the career. He should go and have a char with David Cotterill - he went through it and has a foundation for mental health and well being in players.

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sat Jun 27, 2020 12:59 pm

Im sure he'll perk up when a contract is on the table . Bit of a playbook now is this mental health tag. Most genuine but a lot bullshit.

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sun Jun 28, 2020 2:07 am

Charlie Harper wrote:If he is depressed earning big wages and stealing a living, then when he has to get up at 430am and go to a factory and work his backside off for 12 hours, that is the time that will hit him hard and make him realise how privileged he was. No club will take a chance on him with injury and mental problems I feel.
Personally I've no pity for the guy whatsoever



factory ?
lets try multi millionaire..

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sun Jun 28, 2020 7:20 am

I think this was always on the cards.

I posted this previously

https://www.cardiffcityforum.co.uk/view ... 8#p2146758

Hopefully the club we’re looking after him.

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sun Jun 28, 2020 11:33 am

cs_original wrote:I think this was always on the cards.

I posted this previously

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=210118#p2146758

Hopefully the club we’re looking after him.



must be awful for him. but he has no commitments now so he can go and get himself sorted no more worries about playing football....oh wait a minute he is looking for another sucker to give him a contract, failing that he can take the BLM line and claim discrimination..

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sun Jun 28, 2020 12:09 pm

skidemin wrote:
cs_original wrote:I think this was always on the cards.

I posted this previously

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=210118#p2146758

Hopefully the club we’re looking after him.



must be awful for him. but he has no commitments now so he can go and get himself sorted no more worries about playing football....oh wait a minute he is looking for another sucker to give him a contract, failing that he can take the BLM line and claim discrimination..


This is the problem with football fans. We think we’re experts on the players lives by going on what we see during 90 mins on a Saturday.

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sun Jun 28, 2020 12:19 pm

cs_original wrote:
skidemin wrote:
cs_original wrote:I think this was always on the cards.

I posted this previously

viewtopic.php?f=2&t=210118#p2146758

Hopefully the club we’re looking after him.



must be awful for him. but he has no commitments now so he can go and get himself sorted no more worries about playing football....oh wait a minute he is looking for another sucker to give him a contract, failing that he can take the BLM line and claim discrimination..


This is the problem with football fans. We think we’re experts on the players lives by going on what we see during 90 mins on a Saturday.


yes that's why I replied

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sun Jun 28, 2020 1:58 pm

Despite all his problems he did play 57 games for us, many more than many of our recent signings. Many supporters didn’t take to him because he was a Jack but Warnock in particular made many worst signings.I hope he gets over his problems and wish him well.

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sun Jun 28, 2020 6:15 pm

HarriRhys22 wrote:Despite all his problems he did play 57 games for us, many more than many of our recent signings. Many supporters didn’t take to him because he was a Jack but Warnock in particular made many worst signings.I hope he gets over his problems and wish him well.


Using that statistic it also means he missed pretty much 3 full seasons of football out of 4 he was here during his contracts

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sun Jun 28, 2020 6:40 pm

The now much loved Lee Tomlin has only played 38 games in 3 seasons! The manager has to pick you first! Warnock didn’t pick Tomlin,Vaulks ,Reid,Smithies or Jazz!

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Sun Jun 28, 2020 6:44 pm

HarriRhys22 wrote:The now much loved Lee Tomlin has only played 38 games in 3 seasons! The manager has to pick you first! Warnock didn’t pick Tomlin,Vaulks ,Reid,Smithies or Jazz!



you have to be available to be picked and Jazz has not been for big chunks..

Re: The hidden suffering of the Cardiff City footballer

Mon Jun 29, 2020 8:06 am

;)
skidemin wrote:
HarriRhys22 wrote:The now much loved Lee Tomlin has only played 38 games in 3 seasons! The manager has to pick you first! Warnock didn’t pick Tomlin,Vaulks ,Reid,Smithies or Jazz!



you have to be available to be picked and Jazz has not been for big chunks..



Spot on :thumbright: