Cardiff City Forum



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“ Life “

Sun Jun 14, 2020 7:15 am

Gents

Some may have seen my posts

And realise im very Anti Islam, opinionated and just a grumpy, 47 year old man and have far to much to say sometimes.

But life hits you hard when you don't expect it.

In work last night and had a phone call from a friends mother, he was 51.

He suffered with mental health issues, he left a note to say he could not handle the lockdown anymore and took his own life,

Me and his mum cried like babies, the most heart breaking conversation I have had in my 47 years of life.

Absolutely gutted, we spoke twice a week. Met once a fortnight for coffee. Devastated he didn't tell me how much he was struggling, I never for one second thought he would take his own life even though I knew about his issues. Today I'm blaming myself for not seeing how down he was, but he didnt say he was struggling, and finding it hard with the lockdown he was just his normal self when we spoke.

If anyone on this board is suffering with mental health don't act the hard man, speak to a mate, relative, any one, as listening to his heart broken mum you really don't want to put your parents through such agony, please, please speak up, it's not just your life your taking.

I thought I'd experienced most hard things in life, divorce, heart attack, liver problems, my own struggles with mental health and alcohol.

But speaking to his mum yesterday was the hardest, saddest thing i have ever done, she and his dad are completely broken,

Both well into there 70's

I can not see them getting through this, i hope im wrong but it may well end up being 3 lives ended now

Please, please speak up if your struggling with mental health and look out for your closest ones

Life is fragile, life is hard but life is all we have.

Yesterday I was fighting the world and it's wrongs, today I realise it really doesnt matter,

We can't change it, just roll with the punches, try and smile and move forward.

We are only here a short time, make the most of it.

Re: Life

Sun Jun 14, 2020 8:51 am

Nicely worded and I'm sorry for your loss.

I struggled and still do but not to the same extent with crippling health Anxiety.

I used to struggle for about 2 years to leave the house some days and when I went down the city always had to sit on the aisle seat and would always check where the paramedics were in the ground incase I felt anxious. Same outside everywhere I went I would check for the nearest hospital or doctors surgery.

I could never talk about it for ages and would just sneak off after games when it got to much for me without saying goodbye then get ripped for not buying a round lol.

Mental health is a bitch but eventually when you do speak it gets easier.

Talking and adjusting your mindset was key to beating it for me not medication.

There is definitely a huge void in help for people especially men, I always thought it would help to have a mental health place that was designed like a pub where guys could go and just chat to someone over a pint or coffee instead of a surgery as it's more comfortable and puts you at ease.

Re: Life

Sun Jun 14, 2020 8:58 am

Citysince72 wrote:Gents

Some may have seen my posts

And realise im very Anti Islam, opinionated and just a grumpy, 47 year old man and have far to much to say sometimes.

But life hits you hard when you don't expect it.

In work last night and had a phone call from a friends mother, he was 51.

He suffered with mental health issues, he left a note to say he could not handle the lockdown anymore and took his own life,

Me and his mum cried like babies, the most heart breaking conversation I have had in my 47 years of life.

Absolutely gutted, we spoke twice a week. Met once a fortnight for coffee. Devastated he didn't tell me how much he was struggling, I never for one second thought he would take his own life even though I knew about his issues. Today I'm blaming myself for not seeing how down he was, but he didnt say he was struggling, and finding it hard with the lockdown he was just his normal self when we spoke.

If anyone on this board is suffering with mental health don't act the hard man, speak to a mate, relative, any one, as listening to his heart broken mum you really don't want to put your parents through such agony, please, please speak up, it's not just your life your taking.

I thought I'd experienced most hard things in life, divorce, heart attack, liver problems, my own struggles with mental health and alcohol.

But speaking to his mum yesterday was the hardest, saddest thing i have ever done, she and his dad are completely broken,

Both well into there 70's

I can not see them getting through this, i hope im wrong but it may well end up being 3 lives ended now

Please, please speak up if your struggling with mental health and look out for your closest ones

Life is fragile, life is hard but life is all we have.

Yesterday I was fighting the world and it's wrongs, today I realise it really doesnt matter,

We can't change it, just roll with the punches, try and smile and move forward.

We are only here a short time, make the most of it.

I’m so sorry to hear this mate.
You have worded your thoughts so well and I must admit that it’s a very sobering read this morning. You are absolutely right that life is so fragile.
RIP to your mate.

Re: Life

Sun Jun 14, 2020 9:14 am

bluebirdoct1962 wrote:
Citysince72 wrote:Gents

Some may have seen my posts

And realise im very Anti Islam, opinionated and just a grumpy, 47 year old man and have far to much to say sometimes.

But life hits you hard when you don't expect it.

In work last night and had a phone call from a friends mother, he was 51.

He suffered with mental health issues, he left a note to say he could not handle the lockdown anymore and took his own life,

Me and his mum cried like babies, the most heart breaking conversation I have had in my 47 years of life.

Absolutely gutted, we spoke twice a week. Met once a fortnight for coffee. Devastated he didn't tell me how much he was struggling, I never for one second thought he would take his own life even though I knew about his issues. Today I'm blaming myself for not seeing how down he was, but he didnt say he was struggling, and finding it hard with the lockdown he was just his normal self when we spoke.

If anyone on this board is suffering with mental health don't act the hard man, speak to a mate, relative, any one, as listening to his heart broken mum you really don't want to put your parents through such agony, please, please speak up, it's not just your life your taking.

I thought I'd experienced most hard things in life, divorce, heart attack, liver problems, my own struggles with mental health and alcohol.

But speaking to his mum yesterday was the hardest, saddest thing i have ever done, she and his dad are completely broken,

Both well into there 70's

I can not see them getting through this, i hope im wrong but it may well end up being 3 lives ended now

Please, please speak up if your struggling with mental health and look out for your closest ones

Life is fragile, life is hard but life is all we have.

Yesterday I was fighting the world and it's wrongs, today I realise it really doesnt matter,

We can't change it, just roll with the punches, try and smile and move forward.

We are only here a short time, make the most of it.

I’m so sorry to hear this mate.
You have worded your thoughts so well and I must admit that it’s a very sobering read this morning. You are absolutely right that life is so fragile.
RIP to your mate.

I second this post life can be so cruel

Re: Life

Sun Jun 14, 2020 9:38 am

My deepest condolences to you and your friends family.

It takes something awful like this to unfortunately put everything into perspective.

To emphasise your shout out regarding mental health issues

PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT SUFFER ALONE AND IN SILENCE.

It took me 40 years to get help. Thankfully the support of my now partner persuaded me to get help.

A massive step for an "alpha male". It's not a weakness and plenty of willing and knowledgeable help is out there.
I carried "it" around for YEARS!

Cognitive behavioral therapy and medication absolutely helps. Being diagnosed with OCD and PTSD was looking back surprising yet not unexpected.

I will always have to deal with these but getting the help and the love and support of my partner is invaluable.

Best wishes

Re: “ Life “

Sun Jun 14, 2020 9:42 am

A very sad tale and sorry to hear it.

Unfortunately it is the sort of thing I'm afraid we'll hear more and more of in the coming months and years as the consequences of this lockdown on people's mental health causes major problems for so many people.

And it's likely to be even worse in Wales of course.

RIP to your friend.

Re: “ Life “

Sun Jun 14, 2020 10:32 am

Hearing a few of you advise you got help and

Are dealing with mental health brings a smile to me

Through the tears I'm shedding, not so much for me but his mum and dad

The conversation with bis mum will haunt me for the rest of my days
And I really do fear she will not get through this

Mental health is not a weakness, stain on our character, how tough we are

It's an illness just like cancer

Please please, please dont let it be your parents having that conversation

Be big, be proud and admit if you are finding life mentally difficult

To ask for help when you are struggling is not a weakness

It's a sign of strength of character to fight and get better

Re: “ Life “

Sun Jun 14, 2020 10:43 am

Saddest post I've read for a while, and so sorry for your loss. Well written post and hope people who need help just ask, these are difficult times for everyone and nobody should suffer without the help they need RIP.

Re: “ Life “

Sun Jun 14, 2020 4:10 pm

Citysince72 wrote:Gents

Some may have seen my posts

And realise im very Anti Islam, opinionated and just a grumpy, 47 year old man and have far to much to say sometimes.

But life hits you hard when you don't expect it.

In work last night and had a phone call from a friends mother, he was 51.

He suffered with mental health issues, he left a note to say he could not handle the lockdown anymore and took his own life,

Me and his mum cried like babies, the most heart breaking conversation I have had in my 47 years of life.

Absolutely gutted, we spoke twice a week. Met once a fortnight for coffee. Devastated he didn't tell me how much he was struggling, I never for one second thought he would take his own life even though I knew about his issues. Today I'm blaming myself for not seeing how down he was, but he didnt say he was struggling, and finding it hard with the lockdown he was just his normal self when we spoke.

If anyone on this board is suffering with mental health don't act the hard man, speak to a mate, relative, any one, as listening to his heart broken mum you really don't want to put your parents through such agony, please, please speak up, it's not just your life your taking.

I thought I'd experienced most hard things in life, divorce, heart attack, liver problems, my own struggles with mental health and alcohol.

But speaking to his mum yesterday was the hardest, saddest thing i have ever done, she and his dad are completely broken,

Both well into there 70's

I can not see them getting through this, i hope im wrong but it may well end up being 3 lives ended now

Please, please speak up if your struggling with mental health and look out for your closest ones

Life is fragile, life is hard but life is all we have.

Yesterday I was fighting the world and it's wrongs, today I realise it really doesnt matter,

We can't change it, just roll with the punches, try and smile and move forward.

We are only here a short time, make the most of it.



Shocking news, plenty of it happening though. Heard gabalfa flyover and eastern ave been shut a few times due to jumpers in the last few weeks. Longest lockdown in Europe now aren’t we? Ridiculous

Re: “ Life “

Sun Jun 14, 2020 8:41 pm

Gents

yesterday I was bouncing, totally happy, my grumpy, normal stupid opinionated self

24 hours later

I'm the complete opposite, a sad, broken tearful mess.

Please, please speak up if you have any issues, no matter how trivial you
Feel they may be

Please dont make your loved ones and friends go through what I'm
Experiencing right now.

24 hours seems/feels like nothing to us

Please believe me when I say it's a lifetime

Make the most of every second, please do.

Last week I was having coffee with a good friend

In the coming weeks I'm awaiting his funeral details.

We think as I always did, it won't happen to us

It just fuxking did for me

Speak up guys,

please, please do

your family, friends plus yourself deserve it.

Re: “ Life “

Sun Jun 14, 2020 10:17 pm

Thanks for sharing. It's heartbreaking and so sorry for the loss of a good friend.
Comments seem so trite and all I can say is hold on to the good things you have and be there for his parents, don't hide away.
I honestly think I've survived this lockdown because of my little girl (5) ... her daily antics, laughter and smile have kept me going.

Re: “ Life “

Mon Jun 15, 2020 12:03 am

Citysince72 wrote:Gents

Some may have seen my posts

And realise im very Anti Islam, opinionated and just a grumpy, 47 year old man and have far to much to say sometimes.

But life hits you hard when you don't expect it.

In work last night and had a phone call from a friends mother, he was 51.

He suffered with mental health issues, he left a note to say he could not handle the lockdown anymore and took his own life,

Me and his mum cried like babies, the most heart breaking conversation I have had in my 47 years of life.

Absolutely gutted, we spoke twice a week. Met once a fortnight for coffee. Devastated he didn't tell me how much he was struggling, I never for one second thought he would take his own life even though I knew about his issues. Today I'm blaming myself for not seeing how down he was, but he didnt say he was struggling, and finding it hard with the lockdown he was just his normal self when we spoke.

If anyone on this board is suffering with mental health don't act the hard man, speak to a mate, relative, any one, as listening to his heart broken mum you really don't want to put your parents through such agony, please, please speak up, it's not just your life your taking.

I thought I'd experienced most hard things in life, divorce, heart attack, liver problems, my own struggles with mental health and alcohol.

But speaking to his mum yesterday was the hardest, saddest thing i have ever done, she and his dad are completely broken,

Both well into there 70's

I can not see them getting through this, i hope im wrong but it may well end up being 3 lives ended now

Please, please speak up if your struggling with mental health and look out for your closest ones

Life is fragile, life is hard but life is all we have.

Yesterday I was fighting the world and it's wrongs, today I realise it really doesnt matter,

We can't change it, just roll with the punches, try and smile and move forward.

We are only here a short time, make the most of it.



eI don't agree with some of what you have said in other topics,but I will give credit where it is due,and it's due to you for this great post,you hit the nail on the head,when saying fighting the world and it's wrongs,life is too short,as we have all experienced tragedy of some kind in our lives to date,and quarrels fade into insignificance.You were a good friend to him,and it's very rare to spot the signs of imminent danger,do not beat your elf up over this,you are not at fault in any way,the best thing you can do is be strong for his parents at this very sad time for them,and yourself of course.I'm afraid the effects of lockdown will bring on a surge in mental health issues. 100% agree with all you say,life is short,don't waste it fighting causes you will never win,that in itself can have a detrimental effect on mental well being.DON'T STAY SILENT,TAKE THE 1ST STEP AND TALK PEOPLE. My condolences to his family,and to you his friend. :sad7: :old: :bluebird:

Re: “ Life “

Mon Jun 15, 2020 9:48 am

Thank you all for your replies

It means a lot to hear some have spoke up about it and got help.

It's also nice to read lovely heartworming comments in what

Is a very difficult time.

Thank you all

Stay safe

and please dont suffer alone

Help is out there

I've never met you guys but if anyone is struggling PM your number

I will listen and help in any way I can,