BASSETT V ALLARDYCE- Battle of the quotes

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Local Press: Mike, your team's in disarray, your star player's injured and you've got to win your next game to stay up. It's a desperate situation isn't it?
Mike Bassett: No, no, no, not at all. We also stay up if we draw and Mansfield lose or even if we both lose but they concede three more goals than us. Or if York City get beat by ten goals and the Scunthorpe game is abandoned so no, it's nicely poised.

Mike Bassett: We've conceded in under five seconds!
Richard Johnson: Already breaking records eh Mike.
Mike Bassett: [At Chairman Sir Denzil Quartermaine who is paralysed having had a heart attack] Keep smiling eh Sir Denzil. Never say die. Sir Denzil?
[Sir Denzil's body flops forward]
Mike Bassett: Sir Denzil? Bloody hell he's done a Jock Stein on me!

Ernie Rouse: Deal of the century Michael, deal of the century. It's a loan signing from Ajax.
Mike Bassett: Oh is that the football team or the scouring powder people?

Mike:
How am I supposed to know. Just do whatever you want

Margaret: Mike, here's the squad list, and I've given copies to the press, like you asked.
Mike: Ah, well done, Margaret, thank you... hey, hang on a minute! There's 28 names here, I only picked 26.
Margaret: Well, that was the list you gave me.
Mike: Tony Hedges, York City? I didn't pick him, love.
Margaret: You must have done, Mike. I wouldn't have put him down, otherwise.
Mike: Never heard of him, have I? And who's this clown? Ron Benson, Plymouth Argyle?
Margaret: Look, Mike, they were on the list of players that you gave me!
Mike: [holding up the cigarette box he wrote the squad list on] Oh, come on, love! Show me where it says "Benson and Hedges" on that.

Mike: Ladies and gentlemen. England will be playing Four-Four-Fucking Two.

Interviewer: Half time, and England trail Mexico by 2-0.
Mike: Have you heard what the crowd are f*cking shouting? "f**k Bassett!" "Bassett's a c**t!" "Bassett's a b*stard!" "Bassett's a wanker!" They shouldn't be f*cking shouting at me, they should be shouting at you, and do you know why? Because it's f*cking half-time, and we're f*cking 2-0 down to the f*cking Mexicans! What the f**k's wrong with you? Get your f*cking fingers out! Where's your bottle f*cking gone?
[hurls piece of equipment at the goalkeeper]

Mike: And f*cking pay attention you c**t, when I'm f*cking talking to you! If you don't wanna wear the shirt, f*cking take it off! There's thousands of kids out there who'd die to put that f*cking shirt on. Get back on the f*cking field, show those bastards what you can f*cking do, or you can f**k off home on the f*cking plane! You got that?
Interviewer: England lose 4-0

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Allardyce on his own managerial abilities: “I’m not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Internazionale or Real Madrid. It wouldn’t be a problem for me to go and manage those clubs because I would win the double or the league every time.”

Allardyce on taking his Bolton side to face an in form Chelsea side at Stamford Bridge: “We are going to need a double-decker in front of our goal rather than the team coach!”

Allardyce on his Premier League record: “I don’t think there is any coach more sophisticated than me any more, that’s not trying to criticise any other coaches. But there is only Arsene Wenger who has done it longer than me. I’m just as good as everybody at this stage.”

Allardyce on people’s perception of his football: “It rankles with me at times that I have to remind people what I have done. You have to accept it for what it is. If you start talking about it too much, you just get labelled big-headed, people go ‘He’s blowing his own trumpet again, what’s he on about this time?’ but if no one else is going to talk about it, you have to talk about it. You have to fight your own corner.

“The lingering long-ball sh*t, the old style, all that rubbish that’s never been me and never been a part of what I am.”

Allardyce on securing a result against Jose Mourinho: “I don’t give a sh*te to be honest. He can’t take it because we’ve out-tacticed him, out-witted him. He just can’t cope.”

Allardyce on managing a top four club: “I won’t ever be going to a top-four club because I’m not called Allardici, just Allardyce.”

Allardyce on Bolton’s 2-0 victory over Liverpool and his feud with Rafa Benitez: “But I don’t see why I won’t be inviting him in for a glass of wine after the game. I went in for a glass of wine when Liverpool beat us 2-0 and he spoke about me in the papers. But I was big enough to walk in and test how good his red wine is.”

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Allardyce will always be a legend for the Chico incident!

Allardyce will always be a legend for the Chico incident!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=C1qsBF9Oqjc&autoplay=1