' Somebody's got a warped sense of humour '
Sun Jul 03, 2016 8:00 am
Just goes to show you can make any lie look factual on the internet. 
AS IF http://newsthump.com/2016/07/02/britain ... mi-finals/
Saturday 2 July 2016
Britain celebrates winning a place in Euro 2016 semi-finals
Union Jack
Britain produced a stunning 3-1 victory over Belgium last night to secure themselves a place in the semi-finals, where they will meet Portugal.
Showing true British grit and resolve against their heavily fancied opponents, Britain came from behind to win thanks to goals from captain Ashley Williams, plus Hal Robson-Kanu and Sam Vokes.
Britain fan Simon Williams told us, “This is a great night for Britain, and two fingers up to those who said a team from this island would never make the semis.”
“Us fans always knew that Britain could beat anyone when they play like that, and I look forward to seeing the Union Jack flying proudly all around the stadium in France on Wednesday night.
“I tell you now, absolutely no-one will be excited at the prospect os playing this Britain side.”
European football correspondent, Miguel Garcia told us, “Britain winning this match is a huge shock.
“You have to remember that Britain doesn’t really have any superstar footballers – well, apart from that one – but they have such good team spirit, and work so well together.
“It probably comes from all being raised together on that tiny island.”
AS IF http://newsthump.com/2016/07/02/britain ... mi-finals/
Saturday 2 July 2016
Britain celebrates winning a place in Euro 2016 semi-finals
Union Jack
Britain produced a stunning 3-1 victory over Belgium last night to secure themselves a place in the semi-finals, where they will meet Portugal.
Showing true British grit and resolve against their heavily fancied opponents, Britain came from behind to win thanks to goals from captain Ashley Williams, plus Hal Robson-Kanu and Sam Vokes.
Britain fan Simon Williams told us, “This is a great night for Britain, and two fingers up to those who said a team from this island would never make the semis.”
“Us fans always knew that Britain could beat anyone when they play like that, and I look forward to seeing the Union Jack flying proudly all around the stadium in France on Wednesday night.
“I tell you now, absolutely no-one will be excited at the prospect os playing this Britain side.”
European football correspondent, Miguel Garcia told us, “Britain winning this match is a huge shock.
“You have to remember that Britain doesn’t really have any superstar footballers – well, apart from that one – but they have such good team spirit, and work so well together.
“It probably comes from all being raised together on that tiny island.”
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Re: ' Somebody's got a warped sense of humour '
Sun Jul 03, 2016 8:32 am
Re: ' Somebody's got a warped sense of humour '
Sun Jul 03, 2016 8:58 am
Saturday 2 July 2016 by Neil Tollfree
Country to be renamed ‘United Kingdom of Wales and the other ones’
Wales Euro 2016
Following the Welsh football team’s stunning victory against Belgium in the European Championships, the entire country is to be renamed in their honour.
“Yeah, that’s fair,” said nit-crusher Simon Williams.
“I mean, I’ve been up all night scouring the family tree to see if I can find any connection to Wales.
“My Uncle once went on holiday to Pembrokeshire, but I’m not sure that counts, so changing the country name will hopefully make everyone think I’m Welsh.”
Following a week of dreadful posh people squabbling over who can lie to the public in the most convincing fashion, the Wales team progression to the semi-finals has united the entire population behind them.
“Can we make Gareth Bale Prime Minister?” asked wasp-wrangler Eleanor Gay.
“I mean, he seems ever so nice, he’s very popular and has got a tremendous left-foot.
“Which was always a weakness of David Cameron, I thought.”
The formal renaming of the country will be marked by a ceremony in which Queen sacrifices a sheep to Tom Jones.
Following the name change, ‘boyo’ will replace ‘mate’ as the national friendly form of address between friends, and both men and women will be expected to grow a beard like a Victorian cricketer and sing lustily at every opportunity.
Country to be renamed ‘United Kingdom of Wales and the other ones’
Wales Euro 2016
Following the Welsh football team’s stunning victory against Belgium in the European Championships, the entire country is to be renamed in their honour.
“Yeah, that’s fair,” said nit-crusher Simon Williams.
“I mean, I’ve been up all night scouring the family tree to see if I can find any connection to Wales.
“My Uncle once went on holiday to Pembrokeshire, but I’m not sure that counts, so changing the country name will hopefully make everyone think I’m Welsh.”
Following a week of dreadful posh people squabbling over who can lie to the public in the most convincing fashion, the Wales team progression to the semi-finals has united the entire population behind them.
“Can we make Gareth Bale Prime Minister?” asked wasp-wrangler Eleanor Gay.
“I mean, he seems ever so nice, he’s very popular and has got a tremendous left-foot.
“Which was always a weakness of David Cameron, I thought.”
The formal renaming of the country will be marked by a ceremony in which Queen sacrifices a sheep to Tom Jones.
Following the name change, ‘boyo’ will replace ‘mate’ as the national friendly form of address between friends, and both men and women will be expected to grow a beard like a Victorian cricketer and sing lustily at every opportunity.