ENGLAND FOOTBALL JOKES !!!!!!

world cup fixtures..........

monday,argentina meet brazil, in capetown
tuesday, spain meet italy in joburg
and on wednesday england meet france at the airport

englands final group game has been changed to the comedy channel.
ITV will now show the film ''OUT OF AFRICA'' instead!!!

i heard the guy on death row in utah was told he could pick his own firing squad......
he choose HESKEY, ROONEY, LAMPARD AND GERRARD!!!

my mrs came home early on friday and almost caught me watching england........
but i managed to put on gay porn and got my knob out to avoid any embarrasment

south african police admit they are having huge problems with drug dealers, thieves, and sex fiends.
they add things should improve when england get knocked out, and john terrys and his family go home!!

a turd was found on the england training pitch.
capello confronted the squad and said ''whos shit on the pitch''???
heskey raises his hand, and says ''IM AM BOSS..............but im decent in the air

everyone likes these jokes

got a great joke here

ready ?

THE ENGLAND FOOTBALL TEAM LMFAO

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ENGLAND CAMP!!

Heskey has just smashed a volley into the net!... turns out he's shit at tennis aswell!!

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ENGLAND CAMP!!

Heskey has just smashed a volley into the net!... turns out he's shit at tennis aswell!!

i have a question. anyone like to explain that what is basically difference between soccer and football? and why this game is called somewhere as football and in america as soccer? and here are the funny football jokes don't forget to tell whether you liked them or not

south african police admit they are having huge problems with drug dealers, thieves, and sex fiends.
they add things should improve when england get knocked out, and john terrys and his family go home!!

Do you know who the best player ever is?
His name is...











































































Emile Heskey

The year they stop singing songs about them winning a tournaement the year they will f**king win!

Is the rehashing of this thread anything to do with Emile Heskey coming to CCFC in January?

That's not a joke BTW but if you find it funny all the better..

i have a question. anyone like to explain that what is basically difference between soccer and football? and why this game is called somewhere as football and in america as soccer? and here are the funny football jokes don't forget to tell whether you liked them or not

"Soccer" is the posh public school boy nick name for football. They also called rugby "rugger". I couldn't givew a rats arse what the Americans call it to be fair. Their game of football is basically a game where all the mothers boys are only allowed to play if they cover themselves in helmets and padding in case they get hurt. lol.
You can imagine: "mummy! can I go outside and play with the lads?" Mother's reply: "yes but only if you put all this padding on first. We don't want mummy's little soldier getting hurt now do we."

And whilst I'm taking the piss out of the americans. Isn't it great how they always seem to have World cups/championships in sports that only American teams partake in. Have they actually got a team that have won anything that competes with other countries?

BREAKING NEWS FROM THE ENGLAND CAMP!!

Heskey has just smashed a volley into the net!... turns out he's shit at tennis aswell!!

Have you seen that Emile Heskey video on youtube? All his cock ups reproduced on Fifa. Awesome.

When Sven had a fling with Ulrika Johnsson, then dumped her and went back to Nancy. Ulrika's mother was interviewed, and said ' Ulrika is really upset. Svennis just has not bothered to phone her, she does not know if she's part of his future plans, or not. She does not know what's going on'.

Steve MacManaman knows exactly how she feels


There is another one about Ulrika losing her mobile phone, but probably best not to repeat that one