The Two Russells

Who would make the better manager?

Russell Brand

• blame dodgy refereeing on multi-national corporations and bankers as part of the conspiracy
• Call female journalists 'love' and 'darling' to gain favour with the male majority at press conferences
• Talk about his winky if he oversees a defeat heavier than a two goal margin
• Scrap tactical sessions in favour of Pilates Yoga sessions & meditation
• Dress flamboyantly and act like a right tit for 90mins entertainment, let the players manage themselves


Russell Slade


• Will accept dodgy refereeing as he is just glad to finally get a chance in the championship
• Carry on telling the pressers that ‘fans have a right to an opinion’ and ‘when I took over we were 17th’
• Talk about the positives and the progress made when he oversees a defeat
• Continue the tactical sessions around lumping 60 yard diagonals at strikers under 6ft
• Arms folded to project himself as a man who never wavers from his beliefs. Hoof ball wins matches

Sorry, wasn't that funny. Have no inspiration this morning, have to up my meds lol

Russell Slade