Suicide Bombers Go On Strike

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth" Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.

They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up.

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.

Susan Boyle was not available for comment at this time.

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Qaeda have so far failed to produce an agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death would be cut by 25% this February from 72 to 54. A spokesman said increases in recent years in the number of suicide bombings has resulted in a shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement saying the move was unacceptable to its members and called for a strike vote. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves to death in the cause of Jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth" Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, Al Qaeda chief executive Haisheet Mapants explained, "I sympathize with our workers concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a position to meet their demands.

They are simply not accepting the realities of modern-day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditures or laying people off. I don't like cutting benefits but I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow themselves up.

Spokespersons for the union in the North East of England, Ireland, Wales and the entire Australian continent stated that the change would not hurt their membership as there are so few virgins in their areas anyway.

According to some industry sources, the recent drop in the number of suicide bombings has been attributed to the emergence of Scottish singing star, Susan Boyle. Many Muslim Jihadists now know what a virgin looks like and have reconsidered their benefit packages.

Susan Boyle was not available for comment at this time.

This reminds me of the Charlie Hebdo released days after the Paris Massacre.

There was a joke in there about the Muslim Clerics complaining that the murdered Frenchmen were stealing all their virgins in the afterlife!!

Virgins in the afterlife, I mean come on

Virgins in the afterlife, I mean come on

They can keep their 72 virgins.
Give me 10 slags any day!

Virgins in the afterlife, I mean come on

They can keep their 72 virgins.
Give me 10 slags any day!

Just a night out up my local that is Steve

Virgins in the afterlife, I mean come on

They can keep their 72 virgins.
Give me 10 slags any day!

Just a night out up my local that is Steve

You know their names too, don't you Ian ?

Virgins in the afterlife, I mean come on

They can keep their 72 virgins.
Give me 10 slags any day!

Just a night out up my local that is Steve

You know their names too, don't you Ian ?

They never asked mine when I was behind the back of the pub with one of them, my kind of girl

they actually believe that shite Virgins ready and waiting

Virgins in the afterlife, I mean come on

They can keep their 72 virgins.
Give me 10 slags any day!

Just a night out up my local that is Steve

You know their names too, don't you Ian ?

They never asked mine when I was behind the back of the pub with one of them, my kind of girl

Thumbup (amongst other things)

These Muslim suicide bombers are really thick aren't they?, They blow themselves up in the believe they'll have 72 12yr old virgins but they haven't stopped to consider that these virgins have dads, sisters and brothers who'll defend them with their lifes before some paedophile gets his unwashed hands on them.