BREAKING NEWS!
Manchester United have signed ex Cardiff city loan favourite, Eddie Johnson.
David Moyes personally flew a helicopter to Seattle to collect him, and used the opportunity of the flight to explain to him the offside rule, ahead of a major press conference.
At the conference, Moyes said:
"Despite the fact that we're 14 off the top of the table and facing a tough challenge to qualify for the Champions League this season, we're ecstatic about Eddie signing for us.
"His combination of slightly above average pace and the fact that he tries so damn hard will undoubtedly transform our season into what all our fans expect. We think that Eddie's lovely personality and endeavour will force officials to allow us an automatic bonus 10 points in our quest for glory this season, under the new 'Moyes fair play' rule, which I just invented."
Eddie Johnson, proudly wearing the number 48 shirt for the first time said:
"I love soccer, and Manchester Reds are my favourite franchise. I just hope they let me play the way I like to play with me standing in the end zone waiting for a clever pass from the quarter back, Tom Cleverly, who has my favourite nickname in football!
"Go reds!"
It is expected that Eddie will face Cardiff city on Tuesday and is expected to score at least 15 goals.
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eddie_Jo ... can_soccer)