Suicide bombers strike threat !!

Muslim suicide bombers in Britain are set to begin a three day strike on Monday in a dispute over the number of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife. Emergency talks with Al Queda have so far failed to produce an agreement. The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Queda announced that the number of virgins a suicide bomber would recieve after his death will be cut by 25% this June from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a subsequent shortage off virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organization of Occupational Martyrs ( or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for the strike action. General Secretary Abdullah Amir told the press, 'Our members are literally working themselfs to death in the cause of Jihad. We dont ask for much in return; but to be treated like this is like a kick in the teeth."

Speaking from his shed in Tipton in the West Midlands, in which he currently resides, Al Queda chief executive Osama Bin Laden explained, "while we sympathize with our workers concerns, Al Queda is simply not in a position to meet their demands. They are simply not accepting the realities of modern day Jihad in a competitive marketplace. There is now a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I dont like cutting wages but i'd hate to have to tell 3000 of my staff that they wont be able to blow themselfs up "

A spokesperson for the Union in Wales and South of England stated that the strike would not affect their operations."There are no Virgins in the area anyway !"

Apparantly, the drop in the numbers of suicide bombings have been put down to the emergence of Scottish singing star ,Susan Boyle- now that Muslims know what an actual virgin looks like, they are not so keen on going to paradise.

In a related story, the Conservative spokesman for islamic affairs caused uproar in student common rooms and certain message boards that shall remain nameless, throughout the small island of the United Kingdom when he suggested that the quaran doesn't specify the gender of the virgins and in all likelyhood the virgins are most probably male.

Ive never understood this.

72 (or 60 virgins).....

GIVE ME ONE DOWNRIGHT DIRTY WHORE ANYTIME!

Ive never understood this.

72 (or 60 virgins).....

GIVE ME ONE DOWNRIGHT DIRTY WHORE ANYTIME!

Shocking, Paul, shocking. You've possibly been the most sensible contributor to any football forum ever.

One would expect one's young lady friend to have several skills that us blokes can't do on our own, which isn't much really apart from ironing. Can't think of anything else. Ah...........I've heard that if you put yer legs up higher than yer head and are sitting down then it is possible to give yourself a blow job Told to me by a guy from Abedare that was, I've never tested the theory myself and being a kind sort of chap think this mesage should be removed before Baker reads it

LOL

Sorry Willy.

I'll try and keep to my sensible postings - (I do have a sense of humour as well though!)