Marital Advice Needed!

I've upset the wife many times, but I've really messed up this time and I can't see anyway she'll forgive me on this occasion!

Whilst she was asleep last night, I gently removed her tampax and replaced it with a party popper with the string hanging out!

I thought she'd see the funny side, but obviously I was wrong!

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Cover your kn0b and bollox with veet and give her a good plowing, she'll love it.

Cover your kn0b and bollox with veet and give her a good plowing, she'll love it.

She won't let me come anywhere near her mate and not just because she's more than a bit tender down there either!

Is it on youtube,I'll have to have a look before giving advice

If she spits out the small circle of cardboard you will be ok.

The wife is looking at me weird as im laughing like a Hyena on Meaow

give her a clip across the chops with wet dish cloth and tell her to quit her moaning,

Fook lager all over the keyboard

This reminds me of a poem that my father used to recite to me when I was six:

There was a young girl from Rhyl,
Who tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina in North Carolina,
And one of her tits in Brazil.

He has a lot to answer for.

More information than any of us needed, mate. Hope you sort it out, but not our problem. Good luck!

More information than any of us needed, mate. Hope you sort it out, but not our problem. Good luck!

Sorry to be so graphic mate, but I thought I needed to provide a bit more information than you usually do to an agony aunt and it wasn't my intention to offend anybody!

Sorry about your keyboard earnieblue and I'm afraid that the small circle of cardboard hasn't appeared yet Grumpyguts!

Thanks to everyone who took the time to reply, but I still haven't worked out how I'm going to make things up to her, especially whilst she's still walking like John Wayne!

I'm going to keep the wet dish cloth idea on the back burner for the moment at least sloper_road_legend, but I haven't ruled it out altogether as yet!

Class,fair play