** Breaking news ** Malkys going to Everton.

.... Mint shop, because he loves those little black at white stripy sweets.

You bloody liar! I heard he was a liquorice All-sorts man on good authority!

You bloody liar! I heard he was a liquorice All-sorts man on good authority!

But are you ITK kinda guy, or are you just making up these silly rumours? Berty Bassett said he has made no contact whatsoever with Cardiff city.

More importantly, the shop in Royal Arcade (I think) that sold proper old sweet has now closed down. Proper '70's pineapple cubes and sherbert lemons that made your mouth bleed. Its being turned into yet another f*cking coffee shop. Just how much coffee is the UK drinking? I bet we're giving the wops a run for their money. Cue a "racist" remark. Well how can I be racist when I am actually a Matabubu tribesman. I am typing this while hunting Zebra and enjoying a nutritious snack of dried scorpion and alligators cock crisps.