Bank Holiday Joke Thread - Jam and Marmalade

What's the difference between jam and marmalade?
You can't marmalade your cock up your wife's arse!!

OK then. How many Jacks does it take to change a lightbulb?

I went round to a friends house today. His wife was sat there with their new born son. She asked me if I would like to wind the baby.











I thought that was a bit harsh so I gave him a dead leg instead

OK then. How many Jacks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Enlighten us?

OK then. How many Jacks does it take to change a lightbulb?

Enlighten us?

None. They're all too busy mincing around Pulsebar.

I was watching a movie with my son last night when a sex scene came on.

"Alright Adam, it's about time you went to bed," I said.

"But Dad, I'm 18," he protested.

"I don't care," I said. "You're not watching me wank!"