joe calzaghe

I fucked a gorilla once.

was it hairy eric from porth ?

or grimy nige from tonypandy?
hes a dirty girl

I can't see how waking up with a Cornish pasty pillow case can help to solve the discomfort of athletes foot, when all you need to deliver to Japan is a section of Jeremy clarksons finger nail in return for Himalayan goat spunk balm that sprays directly onto the infected area. I found this info out from Michael Parkinson's great nephew, he sent a message via pigeon carrier to make me aware.

the goat spunk balm has been banned in southend due to the discovery of norman whitesides dna on the third branch,
shitty gupta from splott has lumps of it around the back

i once fingerred a girl who lived in jeremy clarcksons front teeth, she was of asian decent and spoke with a thick scottish accent, she was a funny old girl, her name was franny obika miamba tellenka jesse darko rhodrianna barry chenko dicapatano fungle feet, i think she was 34678.98 years old but looked 34567.78, breasts like a peters pie, breathe of a cod supper, her fanny smelt like a prime ministers fart, she was the love of my life for 34.56 seconds, i often wonder how she is now, and where she will live once jeremeys teeth fall out, i mean it cant be long, not with the dire state of the economy and rising price in internet broadband. She might have to get a loan, but she will need a safety net, unfortunatly her father is away with the irish foreign legion serving on the front line, canada, those damm italians. However, I can sleep safely knowing that my anal hair is now bleached. good day to your mothers and 3rd cousins, i bid you a happy toy story

franny moved in to the anal cavity of peter enkelman and now lives on malkys miniture indian reservation in grangetown where she enjoys carefree mornings pube weaving before resorting to murder in the early evenings.
she asked me to remind you to return her knickers or she will have to send the boys around

franny moved in to the anal cavity of peter enkelman and now lives on malkys miniture indian reservation in grangetown where she enjoys carefree mornings pube weaving before resorting to murder in the early evenings.
she asked me to remind you to return her knickers or she will have to send the boys around

her knickers are pinned to my wall as a constant reminder that I have scaled the walls of mordor. I am a modern day frodo baggins and my precious ring is still very sore after it took a pounding in middle earth. Tell her to send the boys round, my ring is used to having the boys come round. Her knickers shall stay firmly in my house whilst I wank of to midsomer murders and fantasize about the elephant mans head, how I wish i was roy cropper

you were roy cropper til you became hayley

hayley once tickled my balls, until i poked her eye out with my tackle.

Let's get this going again

Never mind Lionel Blair, Lionel Richie was once seen fishing off the loughor bridge using michael laudrups excrement as bait to catch electric eels, once told that electric eels didn't occupy the shores of South Wales, he river danced to garden village to put a 20p and a 10p in the juke box and sing along to a rod Stewart hit, halfway through a power cut shut down the music and he smashed the place up

Lionel ritchie is opening a shop in port talbot selling pornographic images of homeless lobsters,he was going to continue with his mothers badger baiting empire but became allergic to leaves.
Zoe ball is said to be dismayed at the news and is planning to respond by opening a dogshit warehouse in bridgend.
Phil collins has yet to break his silence tho rumours persist that he is the brains behind filthy dicks ballsack emporium in pencoed

I just managed to wank off to six charcoal pictures of miley cyrus removing one of johnny wilkinsons lungs in a feild full of deaf farmers shouting for their wives to beat them with shitty sticks.
My next wank may involve the people of rochdale on valium

I was playing chess with susan boyle one tuesday night when a wild hippopotamus started thrashing about in my sink. It headbutted the cold tap, suffered mild whiplash and couldn't play quidditch for a month. In a frenzy of joyous laughing susan fell off her chair and went into cardiac arrest then started an ovulation process of popping out a mixture of miniature Paul Potts and quail eggs. They began going beserk biting my ankles. I told them to seek the golden quidditch, so they began their toiletry quest burrowing through mounds of vomit and human faeces in pontlottyn town hall

myself and bobby womack just invented a device which enables us to suck our own balls

David Cameron tried to masturbate on my paper boy until there was a newsflash stating raspberry jelly is the main constituent in atomic bombs, thankfully my paper boy didn't have to buy tissues

I was lost in France last summer so asked in a launderette the way to Amirillo. It turned out that Enzo Macarenliis gran worked there. Tony Jeffries coach turned up too on its way back from Norwich.

if joe calzaghe found out that his new train set had been used by the taliban to smuggle a jelly mould of rolf harris into somalia,do you think he would still bother to ring his mother if he left his washing out on a thursday and couldnt remember if he was dead ?

He would have to phone her before 5 o'clock on a Thursday, as she catches the quarter past five bus to Newport for the Bingo every Thursday with the girls

spent the last two months having my teeth removed and replaced with tiny statues of peter ridsdale pissing on a tramp

Just had lunch with dwight yorkes jockstrap and she reckons that russell slade makes inappropriate sexual demands on boxes of shredded wheat

Brighton and Hove Albion's ballboy instructor ran a knitting needle eating competition. The winner was a 7ft blonde Japanese girl from a hole in Dai Toothache's overgrown sloping garden in Ynysybwl. No prize was given.

Graham Gooch celebrated having his back yard patioed using Abby Titmus's toe nail clipping collection
by deficating His man waste in the shape of the map of Angola

I fucked a gorilla once.

Why only once, was it unimpressed?

Who do you think you are ?
Cos you used to was
Who do you think you are ?
I don't suppose!

Ten dollar
Suck sucky
Love you long time
Clean, clean

After 4 months submerged in joe ralls bumgut i can confirm that jesus jones will not be making a comeback and nor will brotherhood of man

In an emergency, women can be used as an impromptu loud-hailer simply by inserting a funnel into their mouth and then shouting up their cunts.

Goats are like mushrooms, when you shoot a duck I'm afraid of toasters

Meanwhile in Jackland http://trinilulz.com/3-arrested-for-sheep-brothel/

What about lardy phelps finlands forgotten war hero and former ghurkin grower? Who text the one arm shoe shine boy from rio de janero who was at rogers old boathouse. keith chegwin was fondling a pair of val doonighans sweltering underpants on yul brynnors tombstone. Also tripping out to arthur askeys orange bird table.