funniest and smartest football chants

the kevin mcnaughton song wins hands down to me! ... bloody brilliant!

To the woman givin it large in her kitchen window at pompey away 2 seasons ago at half time -

DEW DEW DEW, SHE'S GOT GONORRHEA

United Song for Park Ji Sung was Quality.

Park Park wherever you may be,You eat dogs in your own country.
But it could be worse,You could be scouse!!
And eat f*cking Rats in a council House.


Good Witty chant was the empty seats chant.
The worst I've heard us sing is 2dead Galatasary v Leeds alongside the Peter SUTCLIFFE chant.


Worst I've heard was Bristol city city and aberfan chant.

"does she take it up the arse?!" when an away female fan starts getting lairy.

Very funny. Can remember it sung to good effect the last game we played at Highfield Rd (Coventry)
She was well game for a laugh saying she did.

Was she the 'slut wearing burberry'?

Always look out for turks carrying knives !

Many years ago to the jacks, only because it sounded so good " you got beaten by Nuneaton,la la la La la"

come in a taxi

duh, duh, duh she's got Gonorrhea!!
Grange end to fit bird in Reading supporters.

'Shit at rugby, shit at football'
Same game, to Reading fans, after a recent crap england international and Wales grand slam at the egg.

Kenny jacket's illegitimate, he aint got no birth certificate!

hes fat, hes scouse, he'll rob your fuckin house, lee trundle, lee trundle !

your supposed to be in jail cracks me up every time

When we played arsenal at ninian park a few years ago:
There here, there there, there every f*cking where shiny teeth

Lets all do the seamen lets all do the seamen!!!

As we all waive our hands about like seamen did against Ronaldinio!!

Even Sam used to do it when asked

He can't read and he can't write but he can drive a Tractor.

Darren Purse warming up on line as substitute against Southampton , Nathen Dyer warming up along side him at Ninian Park , when the whole of Block A erupt with

Darren watch your Purse , Darren , Darren , Watch your Purse

Comedy gold Pursey was pissing himself

Highbury is a library, Highbury is a library, shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Cup vs Arsenal at Highbury 2-1 to them. Their fans didnt sing all game.

years ago at Luton (on Valentine's Day):
Luton: "Is that all you take away?"
us: "We're only here cos we're single..."

us at Bangor, aimed at the youthful Bangor fans giving it large:
"Have you got your pubic hair?" and "Small cocks - no pubes..."

Celtic fans on Andy Goram after it was revealed the keeper was diagnosed with schizophrenia:
"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams"

Can't remember who sang it to Liverpool but "Peter Beardsley's In-com-pre-hensible" made me laugh at the time.

The funniest at CCS thus far was "Shit Barry Island" and smartest was "Not f*cking Scared", the latter which raised the hairs on my neck at the time. Also proving that the CCS can have an atmos.

Always laugh when Wales play Scotland and both sets of supporters sing 'we hate england more than you!!!'

Man city used to sign to sun jihai "singing I I yippy sun jihai, singing I I yippy sun jihai, singing I I yippy, his dad owns a chippy, I I yippy sun jihai"

years ago at Luton (on Valentine's Day):
Luton: "Is that all you take away?"
us: "We're only here cos we're single..."

us at Bangor, aimed at the youthful Bangor fans giving it large:
"Have you got your pubic hair?" and "Small cocks - no pubes..."

Celtic fans on Andy Goram after it was revealed the keeper was diagnosed with schizophrenia:
"Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams"

the andy goram chant

I remember a class one from way, way back by Man City. Was to the tune of Wonderwall by Oasis and was something along the lines of:

And all the runs Kinkladzke makes are winding
and all the goals that Cloughy scores are blinding
And there are many songs that we would like to sing for you
Cos after All
Your our Alan Ball...

or something like that.

Favorite City chant was He's white, he's mean he fought the Argentine -- Phil Stant.

The original Nathan Blake chant was good but I though this was genius.

Someone mentioned it earlier but ' Arthur f*cking Europe' is another favorite.

And of course Men of Harlech - which I love because it is unique to us same as the ayatollah.

west brow last season
we were singing 'this is our b team'
they came back 'this is our c team'
then 'this is our d team'
also preston away 6-0 down 'were gona win 7-6'
i loves the city i doo

Kim - Bo wherever you may be
They all eat dogs in your country
But it could be worse, cos you could be a jack
And eat fecking rats in a council flat

One from the 80's

"if you like a lot of fighting at your football join our club"

One from the united anti scouse book

You are a scouser
A lonely scouser
You're only happy on giro day
Your mam's out thieving, your dad's drug dealing
So please don't take my hub caps away

A good one was at Southend away a few years back. Michael Ricketts and Efe Sodje were warming up for Southend in front of the city fans. The city faithful began bellowing "One lazy b*stard, There's only one lazy b*stard" aimed at Michael RIcketts. Efe Sodje was stood behind Ricketts pointing and laughing at him. Sodje was then greeted to "He's got a T-towel on his head" Damn I miss those away games. Not the same now

Always laugh when Wales play Scotland and both sets of supporters sing 'we hate england more than you!!!'

Agreed mate. Legend of a chant.

First remember hearing it before one game in the Gatekeeper (possibly the one where Earnshaw got a hat-trick? Not sure if it was that far back). Everyone in the pub singing it, amazing. Did my eyes deceive me or did I actually see a lot of the Scottish fans with scarfs in Scotland colours, but with the words "f*cking English Cunts" on instead?! In fairness to them, as soon as they say they are going for independence, so they must hate England more, not much of an answer to that.

Wonder if there are another 2 countries in the world that could use a similar chant - Lesotho and Swaziland, the 2 countries land-locked by South Africa?!

Another great chant from long back was at Torquay when their keeper, Jones, let 4 goals in in the second half - "Who let the goals in? Jones, Jones, Jones" to the tune of "Who let the dogs out!" A lot of Torquay fans laughing at that.

Jason Puncheon....went off the field tonight for a crap, when he came back on the Everton fans were chanting;

He shits when he wants, Jason puncheon, he shits when he wants, puncheon was cracking up laughing, and so was I.

Opposition fans to Kevin Doyle (with his irish 'gypsy' roots) sung to the tune of the wheels on the bus

"The wheels on your house go round and round, round and round....."

Remember spelling out C-A-R-D-I-F-F and what have you got? One day somebody left out the 2nd 'F' and the repost was " there's only one F'in Cardiff, one F'in Cardiff etc

Genius! Only one f'in Cardiff made an appearance on the back of the brilliant "I'd cry too if I was English" gazza tshirts ( which I still have along with my Stantona!)