Advice on what to say to a Jack (sensible answers please)

Just knock him out

Ignore him and claim from your holiday insurance.

Put all your drinks on his benefit tab.

Try sitting in the sunbed he sat on yesterday after him watching you febreeze it first.

Put all your drinks on his benefit tab.

Aye,then offer him 5p in the pound compo.

Thank him for keeping the flies away.

Thank him for keeping the flies away.

that's the new benchmark for me

Just point at his mrs an say what’s your sisters name.

And this is the winner!

Smash his mrs

Go to nearest building merchants buy a brick and go back to hotel and when the tw*t is getting in pool lob the brick at the fucker and hopefully the prick will drown the disrespectful tw*t. Can't stand people like that I know a few jacks but would never be that childish grow up the prick wants to or drop dead

Hahahaha my man!

Brick the c**t!

Ignore him and claim from your holiday insurance.

Best yet

In all seriousness, thank the gentleman for the work conducted upon your elderly relative's roof and drive and then enquire as to the health of the horse after what must have been a long and tiring journey.

Raced to put his kit on...ha ha ha

Ignore him.. sounds like a complete Melvin..most of then are.

Omfg, bluebirdoct1962 I take it that you're 18 months younger than me based on the fact that I was born in April 1961. Are you on a wind up? How can you not rip into him and say something sarcastic, or offer him to go for a "stroll" with you. I just read this thread to my missus, and she said tell you to man up FFS. You need to have a word now, or it could ruin your holiday. F.T.J!!!

Full kit wanker

Omfg, bluebirdoct1962 I take it that you're 18 months younger than me based on the fact that I was born in April 1961. Are you on a wind up? How can you not rip into him and say something sarcastic, or offer him to go for a "stroll" with you. I just read this thread to my missus, and she said tell you to man up FFS. You need to have a word now, or it could ruin your holiday. F.T.J!!!

Mate, it’s a bit of fun.
Yes he’s pi$$ing me off a bit but I’m too old in the tooth to let him bother me tbh.
I’m just loving reading the replies on advice given.

This threads making me want to punch him! I'm on the next flight

Yes, communication could prove disastrous..it might induce spontaneous singing of the anthem if he gets excited...

This threads making me want to punch him! I'm on the next flight

Why not try and find an american flag towel or t shirt and greet him with a chant of USA USA USA

Hows the bank balance? Or who are you going to have as your manager next season?

Just tell him to grow up and f**k right OFF. If that doesn’t work frighten him

Why come on a forum for advice? Are you a grown man or not? Just tell him to f**k right off. Simple really.

Buy some pegs off him,give him a fair price,that’ll do the trick

Get hold of a big fat juicy dead rat - wrap it in some tin foil and voila...

Jack lad will feel right at home with some rat surprise.

Ohh lord are you serious ? I speechless I really am If it was me I would of just said you didn’t have to put that top on I could smell you coming a mile off and I knew you was a Jack

Was in Turkey 2 years ago,sat at my friends restaurant on the beach,when a fat slob turns up,demanding his swans shirt be added to the multitude of football paraphernalia that adorns the walls and ceilings,my mate mustafa agreed and I was dumfounded as he is an honorary bluebird next evening at the same place,whilst going to the toilet,I shut the door,and pissed my pants my mate had superglued it to the back of the door the slob turned up later and asked where his shirt was hung,you should have seen the f@ckers face,when told it was hanging in the only place fitting ,I giggled my evening away to say the least cheers mustafa

I have to agree with some of the comments about why start a thread on it? Give him some banter back he will either take it and have some fun or want to kick off.

Do we get an update? ... This is more fascinating than transfer deadline day....

Wait till he’s on his own and then jump him