Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 1:20 am
Well after an eventfull trip I argued with the sat nav and it turned out the sat nav was right 
so I was a bit late getting to the City that was flattened by the Germans during the second World War and never rebuilt 
.
I found the Hotel I was staying at Formule 1 and it is part of the ibcis group. I checked in and the tart on the desk said "oh yes you are in the Formule over the road" with a stupid grin on her face,and I was about to find out why. I let myself into this building and it stank of cheap airfreshner and there was no lifts. All the doors was painted a bright red
and when I let myself in the room it was small with a double bed and a bunk bed above it made of cheap ply wood. The shithouse was down the corridor which was like a portacabin. Completely plastic and stank of piss. The showers was a room next to the toilet and was gross .
I then put Marc's Hotel on all around me and 15 minutes later I arrived there with Marc storming out saying to me "Nukes let's get the f**k out of here it's a f*cking shithole" so far not a good start for either of us.
We then went looking for a Cab to take us to the Hub Pub and we went past a pub so we popped in as you do
and ordered two pints of Stella which tasted like shit. We had them changed put so far Coventry was not being shown in a good light 
We got to the Hub which made the Forresters look like the Ritz where Dibb"s bus was. We had a few there and then went to the stadium. Coventrys hound is a nice stadium but the amount of support they get is shocking. But in the concourse they was selling bottled beer for £2 a bottle. Marc and Saddam thought it was Christmas come early. The game kicked off so I went in the stadium and left the two pissheads drinking, I was in there for 25 minutes and to be fair the game was awful and the atmosphere shit awful. I text Marc to find out where he was, and he replied he was at the top !! So I made my way up and could not find him only to get another text saying he and saddam was back in the concourse 
So I went to the Concourse and found Saddam and no Marc 
and was told he was outside having a fag.
The second half started and it was soon one nill to the best CCFC and it was that man Peter Whittingham. So I got the chant started " he does what he wants Peter Whittingham he does what he wants" which caught on fair play.
The game finished all square and it was a disappointing performance but we didn't loose.
After the game it was back to the Hub Pub and then went to the Chinese next door. There was about 15 people on there causing bedlam with the lass seving seemed to be doing the cooking as well and when she would come back with the food she would say "specal flied lice" and everyone would go me me me !!. So it was back to the Hub with the local dirty rednecks also drinking and the f*cking stank. The Lads soon left on there Mini bus so it was a Taxi back to our Hotels. I went with Marc to have a night cap at his shithole and got talking to two good Lads both Welsh .
But just before I left I was busting for a shit so asked Marc if I could use his bathroom . So when Marc went for a fag I let myself into his room and fair play it cooking stank. The carpets were wet where Marc had a shower earlier and it was a dirty stinking shit pit which was worse than mine but at least he had a bog so now here I am busting for a shit and I promptly filled the pan up when I noticed to my horror there was no bog roll so there was only one thing to do and that was wipe my stinking shitty arse with Marc's towel and then I threw the towel under the sink cupboard . So then I left the bathroom smelling like the worst shithouse ever!! when I went down stairs I told Marc that shit was an experience and I would tell all in my Day report so marc now you know what happened .
I am now in my shithole room in a shithole City writing this report on my phone so please forgive spelling grammar ETC . The song I want to go home Coventry's a shithole rings so true here.
so I was a bit late getting to the City that was flattened by the Germans during the second World War and never rebuilt .I found the Hotel I was staying at Formule 1 and it is part of the ibcis group. I checked in and the tart on the desk said "oh yes you are in the Formule over the road" with a stupid grin on her face,and I was about to find out why. I let myself into this building and it stank of cheap airfreshner and there was no lifts. All the doors was painted a bright red
and when I let myself in the room it was small with a double bed and a bunk bed above it made of cheap ply wood. The shithouse was down the corridor which was like a portacabin. Completely plastic and stank of piss. The showers was a room next to the toilet and was gross .I then put Marc's Hotel on all around me and 15 minutes later I arrived there with Marc storming out saying to me "Nukes let's get the f**k out of here it's a f*cking shithole" so far not a good start for either of us.
We then went looking for a Cab to take us to the Hub Pub and we went past a pub so we popped in as you do
and ordered two pints of Stella which tasted like shit. We had them changed put so far Coventry was not being shown in a good light We got to the Hub which made the Forresters look like the Ritz where Dibb"s bus was. We had a few there and then went to the stadium. Coventrys hound is a nice stadium but the amount of support they get is shocking. But in the concourse they was selling bottled beer for £2 a bottle. Marc and Saddam thought it was Christmas come early. The game kicked off so I went in the stadium and left the two pissheads drinking, I was in there for 25 minutes and to be fair the game was awful and the atmosphere shit awful. I text Marc to find out where he was, and he replied he was at the top !! So I made my way up and could not find him
only to get another text saying he and saddam was back in the concourse So I went to the Concourse and found Saddam and no Marc and was told he was outside having a fag. The second half started and it was soon one nill to the best CCFC and it was that man Peter Whittingham. So I got the chant started " he does what he wants Peter Whittingham he does what he wants" which caught on fair play.
The game finished all square and it was a disappointing performance but we didn't loose.
After the game it was back to the Hub Pub and then went to the Chinese next door. There was about 15 people on there causing bedlam with the lass seving seemed to be doing the cooking as well
and when she would come back with the food she would say "specal flied lice" and everyone would go me me me !!. So it was back to the Hub with the local dirty rednecks also drinking and the f*cking stank. The Lads soon left on there Mini bus so it was a Taxi back to our Hotels. I went with Marc to have a night cap at his shithole and got talking to two good Lads both Welsh .But just before I left I was busting for a shit so asked Marc if I could use his bathroom . So when Marc went for a fag I let myself into his room and fair play it cooking stank. The carpets were wet where Marc had a shower earlier and it was a dirty stinking shit pit which was worse than mine but at least he had a bog
so now here I am busting for a shit and I promptly filled the pan up when I noticed to my horror there was no bog roll so there was only one thing to do and that was wipe my stinking shitty arse with Marc's towel and then I threw the towel under the sink cupboard . So then I left the bathroom smelling like the worst shithouse ever!! when I went down stairs I told Marc that shit was an experience and I would tell all in my Day report so marc now you know what happened .I am now in my shithole room in a shithole City writing this report on my phone so please forgive spelling grammar ETC . The song I want to go home Coventry's a shithole rings so true here.
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 1:25 am
LOVING THE FACT YOU SHAT ON HIS TOWEL
that chinease is far and away the worst chinease I have ever experienced, I will eat anything after a beer, but fook me that place is vile.
that chinease is far and away the worst chinease I have ever experienced, I will eat anything after a beer, but fook me that place is vile.
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 1:35 am
milly44 wrote:LOVING THE FACT YOU SHAT ON HIS TOWEL
that chinease is far and away the worst chinease I have ever experienced, I will eat anything after a beer, but fook me that place is vile.
Laughing my bollocks off over that but what was I supposed to do Chief ? Mind you that towel was soft on the arse so it was a super job
The Chinese I waited about five minutes and no one came out , and this bird came in and the bint came running out of the kitchen to seve her. I then shouted sum sing Wong here I was first , which didn't go down well with her
especially as everyone was pissing themselves laughing
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 1:47 am
I do what I want I do what I want I shit on Marc's towels I do what I want
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 8:32 am
Sounds like Cov is a lovely place to say,
Luxury hotels, great restaurants, good tasting beer!!
The pint I had in the Hub tasted ok but it took so long to find the pub cos we got lost I necked it !!
Nice meeting u matey!!
Jules
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:05 am
LutonBluebird wrote::D
Sounds like Cov is a lovely place to say,
Luxury hotels, great restaurants, good tasting beer!!
The pint I had in the Hub tasted ok but it took so long to find the pub cos we got lost I necked it !!
Nice meeting u matey!!
Jules
Good meeting you Jules
gonna leave this shit awful City soon I need a beeline but I ain't having one here . This places makes Swansea look civilised
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:08 am
f*cking brilliant story nukes!! there is some truth in the saying then.. getting sent to coventry... is a punishment.....
only plus side was your super comfort bog roll
and 2 quid a beer in the ground
oh ..... and your sat nav works
only plus side was your super comfort bog roll
and 2 quid a beer in the ground oh ..... and your sat nav works
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:10 am
Good laugh Steve, I enjoyed my second meal.
Hope you had a a good night after we left.
Hope you had a a good night after we left.
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:12 am
Forever Blue wrote:Good laugh Steve, I enjoyed my second meal.
Hope you had a a good night after we left.
Shit mate
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:13 am
Nuclearblue wrote:Forever Blue wrote:Good laugh Steve, I enjoyed my second meal.
Hope you had a a good night after we left.
Shit mate
Sorry to hear, I bet you never looked forward to staying in your hotel.
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 9:20 am
Forever Blue wrote:Nuclearblue wrote:Forever Blue wrote:Good laugh Steve, I enjoyed my second meal.
Hope you had a a good night after we left.
Shit mate
Sorry to hear, I bet you never looked forward to staying in your hotel.
Annis marc and me needed more alcohol to get us through the night
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 10:15 am
Love it!!!
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:12 pm
Whilst driving back I had a text off Marc it read " Nukes you f*cking tw*t I had to wipe my arse on the shower curtain coz u used up all the f*cking bog roll" I nearly crashed the car reading that fair play and I haven't stopped laughing sinse . Then I had a text accusing me of nicking all the bog roll fair play I nearly spat all my breakfast out this time. I told him he has to read my report to find out the truth Life is never dull on the road
fair play I nearly spat all my breakfast out this time. I told him he has to read my report to find out the truth Life is never dull on the road
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:35 pm
Nuclearblue wrote:Whilst driving back I had a text off Marc it read " Nukes you f*cking tw*t I had to wipe my arse on the shower curtain coz u used up all the f*cking bog roll" I nearly crashed the car reading that fair play and I haven't stopped laughing sinse . Then I had a text accusing me of nicking all the bog roll
LMAO. The wife is driving us both back from Milton Keynes and she is wondering why the f**k I'm laughing so much !!
Shower curtain lol
Bet the cleaners when they come in to your room will enjoy tidying up, hope u paid cash
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:40 pm
"they do what they waaaant"
"nukes and marc in hotel rooms, they do what they want"
"nukes and marc in hotel rooms, they do what they want"
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 12:55 pm
LutonBluebird wrote:Nuclearblue wrote:Whilst driving back I had a text off Marc it read " Nukes you f*cking tw*t I had to wipe my arse on the shower curtain coz u used up all the f*cking bog roll" I nearly crashed the car reading that fair play and I haven't stopped laughing sinse . Then I had a text accusing me of nicking all the bog roll
LMAO. The wife is driving us both back from Milton Keynes and she is wondering why the f**k I'm laughing so much !!
Shower curtain lol
Bet the cleaners when they come in to your room will enjoy tidying up, hope u paid cash
It was Marc's room Chief
by the state of that cupboard under the sink no one has been in there for a trillion years . So that towel is going to be festing for years to come yet
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 1:07 pm
I really laughed at that report
Reminded me of our trip to Milan for the Wales game especially the bit about the bogs smelling rank. we actually stayed in a really nice hotel but the bogs stank mainly because everyone had a dump in there but it wouldn't flush anyway a mate goes in there to clean his teeth at the same has another mate is having a dump
Anyway the stench is so over powering the poof who wants to clean his teeth (You know who you are) runs out onto the balcony and throws up all over the pristine Italian flag flying proudly below our room to say the Hotel Manager was unimpressed would be a understatement but we denied all knowledge and claimed the vomit had come from the floor above us
Reminded me of our trip to Milan for the Wales game especially the bit about the bogs smelling rank. we actually stayed in a really nice hotel but the bogs stank mainly because everyone had a dump in there but it wouldn't flush anyway a mate goes in there to clean his teeth at the same has another mate is having a dump
Anyway the stench is so over powering the poof who wants to clean his teeth (You know who you are)
runs out onto the balcony and throws up all over the pristine Italian flag flying proudly below our room to say the Hotel Manager was unimpressed would be a understatement but we denied all knowledge and claimed the vomit had come from the floor above us
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 1:18 pm
LutonBluebird wrote:"they do what they waaaant"
"nukes and marc in hotel rooms, they do what they want"
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:04 pm
YOU DIRTY, SMELLY c**t ........I went back to my shithole of an Hotel room last night after having to drink myself in to a coma just to sleep there 
and the stench Nukes had left behind nearly made me puke....anyway I got up this morning and decided not to have a shower as I'll probably be cleaner without one (glad I didn't now, wouldn't have had a towel would I )
After getting my socks jack hammered off the stinking floor, I decided to have a shit before I left........just dropped off last nights chinese into the bowl and looked around for toilet paper...NONE ....I was calling Nukes all the cunts going for using all the bog roll, I looked in the cupboard under the sink but only saw a towel in a heap at the back (little did I know until I read this thread why it's there).
I thought f**k this and proceeded to use the shower curtain which was the only thing I could get my hands on
Left the Hotel sharpish and luckily I paid cash at the hotel
Coventry really is a shithole. Good to meet a few off here last night
NuclearBlue you DIRTY c**t.
........I went back to my shithole of an Hotel room last night after having to drink myself in to a coma just to sleep there and the stench Nukes had left behind nearly made me puke....anyway I got up this morning and decided not to have a shower as I'll probably be cleaner without one (glad I didn't now, wouldn't have had a towel would I )After getting my socks jack hammered off the stinking floor, I decided to have a shit before I left........just dropped off last nights chinese into the bowl and looked around for toilet paper...NONE
....I was calling Nukes all the cunts going for using all the bog roll, I looked in the cupboard under the sink but only saw a towel in a heap at the back (little did I know until I read this thread why it's there).I thought f**k this and proceeded to use the shower curtain which was the only thing I could get my hands on
Left the Hotel sharpish and luckily I paid cash at the hotel
Coventry really is a shithole. Good to meet a few off here last night
NuclearBlue you DIRTY c**t.
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:22 pm
Superb report Nukes Glad i was working in Exeter yesterday or i would have been staying with you two.
Tell Marc next time he books you a hotel to look at reviews on trip advisor first
Glad i was working in Exeter yesterday or i would have been staying with you two.Tell Marc next time he books you a hotel to look at reviews on trip advisor first
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:36 pm
funny as f**k Nukes. glad the pair of you enjoyed your night(at the stadium anyway) shame the rest of your visit was ruined by your digs/food outlet
and fair play me and Marc did enjoy a few of those bottles at 2 quid a throw
will see you saturday
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:41 pm
saddam wrote::shock:
funny as f**k Nukes. glad the pair of you enjoyed your night(at the stadium anyway) shame the rest of your visit was ruined by your digs/food outlet
and fair play me and Marc did enjoy a few of those bottles at 2 quid a throw
will see you saturday
Darren, those £2 bottles went down a treat
............Lee, I will take your advice and check trip advisor next time ........see you saturday gents
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:46 pm
Marc wrote:saddam wrote::shock:
funny as f**k Nukes. glad the pair of you enjoyed your night(at the stadium anyway) shame the rest of your visit was ruined by your digs/food outlet
and fair play me and Marc did enjoy a few of those bottles at 2 quid a throw
will see you saturday
Darren, those £2 bottles went down a treat
they were a bargain compared to the prices for beer at some grounds, it would had been a crime not to sample some
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:49 pm
saddam wrote:Marc wrote:saddam wrote::shock:
funny as f**k Nukes. glad the pair of you enjoyed your night(at the stadium anyway) shame the rest of your visit was ruined by your digs/food outlet
and fair play me and Marc did enjoy a few of those bottles at 2 quid a throw
will see you saturday
Darren, those £2 bottles went down a treat
they were a bargain compared to the prices for beer at some grounds, it would had been a crime not to sample some
Darren were those £2 bottles lemonade ?
Glad you a had a good trip mate,See you saturday
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:52 pm
Dont take the abuse nukes!Shit is your thanks
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:52 pm
Bowmonster wrote:saddam wrote:Marc wrote:saddam wrote::shock:
funny as f**k Nukes. glad the pair of you enjoyed your night(at the stadium anyway) shame the rest of your visit was ruined by your digs/food outlet
and fair play me and Marc did enjoy a few of those bottles at 2 quid a throw
will see you saturday
Darren, those £2 bottles went down a treat
they were a bargain compared to the prices for beer at some grounds, it would had been a crime not to sample some
Darren were those £2 bottles lemonade ?
not a drop of lemonade in sight Lee. some make of pear cider and a mixed fruit 1
beautiful they were to
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Wed Nov 23, 2011 3:54 pm
saddam wrote:Bowmonster wrote:saddam wrote:Marc wrote:saddam wrote::shock:
funny as f**k Nukes. glad the pair of you enjoyed your night(at the stadium anyway) shame the rest of your visit was ruined by your digs/food outlet
and fair play me and Marc did enjoy a few of those bottles at 2 quid a throw
will see you saturday
Darren, those £2 bottles went down a treat
they were a bargain compared to the prices for beer at some grounds, it would had been a crime not to sample some
Darren were those £2 bottles lemonade ?
not a drop of lemonade in sight Lee. some make of pear cider and a mixed fruit 1
Very good value then mate
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Thu Nov 24, 2011 12:09 am
Marc wrote:YOU DIRTY, SMELLY c**t
After getting my socks jack hammered off the stinking floor, I decided to have a shit before I left........just dropped off last nights chinese into the bowl and looked around for toilet paper...NONE
I thought f**k this and proceeded to use the shower curtain which was the only thing I could get my hands on
Left the Hotel sharpish and luckily I paid cash at the hotel
Coventry really is a shithole. Good to meet a few off here last night
NuclearBlue you DIRTY c**t.
I am now reading this Marc with tears running down my face
The Wife is looking at me funny. That fair play is one of the funniest things i have read
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:06 pm
nukes, one of the funniest posts i've read on the forum. great report cheif
Re: Coventry City my evening report !!
Sat Nov 26, 2011 10:13 pm
lewis91 wrote:nukes, one of the funniest posts i've read on the forum. great report cheif
Chief i am glad you liked it.
Marc told me today it was shit