o/t Toilet habits

Lets lighten the mood.

How many people on here have a look at the paper after a wipe? I used to have a sneaky sniff too till i dabbed my nose on some brown and my partner had to point it out!!!

Always mate Smelt it was but never again

Always get satisfaction from a clean wipe too, you feel good with a clean drop.

The never ending wipers are a bugger tho, feels like a brown crayon up there!!!

This thread is comedy gold!

Mate over the years i've had classics. Passed a whole jalapeno after an asda pizza once - in the words of Ray Wilkins "My Word"

Also have 'pencil poos' quite often, dunno why?

Always get satisfaction from a clean wipe too, you feel good with a clean drop.

The never ending wipers are a bugger tho, feels like a brown crayon up there!!!

I know mate i have even got the Mrs to buy those moist wipes to help that but it doesn't make it any better only makes your ass feel wet
For anybody reading moist wipes are like wet wipes but you are allowed to flush down the pan

Bow i use them too before the gym!!!

Aware that a festering malteser may not be an attractive smell for some of the gym honeys.

[quote="stuckster"]Always get satisfaction from a clean wipe too, you feel good with a clean drop.

..........Agree. It's a phenomenon known as a "Ghost Shite". Even more spooky when there's no trace of a jobbie in the pan. As a child I was told that the Bum Goblin was responsible for this and that he lived in the sewers and would climb up the pipes to the toilet to snatch your turd. Leighton James has since changed career and can now be heard spouting bollocks on the radio.

Mate over the years i've had classics. Passed a whole jalapeno after an asda pizza once - in the words of Ray Wilkins "My Word"

Also have 'pencil poos' quite often, dunno why?

I think you need to see your doctor mate

I know mate, sometimes my poo is like supermarket sweep - mushrooms, peas, jalapenos and always spinach after a sag aloo!!

Worst ever is taking your arse for a piss!!! Bloody curries! Ring sting!! Sitting there and your arse go's down for a drink!!

This thread is Shit so i aint commenting

I know mate, sometimes my poo is like supermarket sweep - mushrooms, peas, jalapenos and always spinach after a sag aloo!!

Forget to mention sometimes wipe and tissue is covered in blood thats after a heavy session on the bow and i force a log out

Follow throughs are a fwker too, once was in bed and followed through, couldnt get out as drippage on new carpet so partner had to attend with nappy size handful of toilet paper.

I am still amzaed at the tender age of 49, how sweetcorn manages to go through whole

I know mate, sometimes my poo is like supermarket sweep - mushrooms, peas, jalapenos and always spinach after a sag aloo!!

Forget to mention sometimes wipe and tissue is covered in blood thats after a heavy session on the bow and i force a log out

Don't worry - blood on the tissue is natures way of telling you that yo' ass is clean!

and when you have your sunday lunch, on the monday morning dump, theres always a couple of whole peas that wont flush.?

I am still amzaed at the tender age of 49, how sweetcorn manages to go through whole

Agree mate it stands out too doesn't it as well due to being bright yellow.
Logs then remind me of the the old star bars visually

Would it put you off a stunning woman if she stunk out the bog and left a skidmark?

Also my mate was doing his bird from behind and when he looked down she had a flskey, he just flicked it off and carried on.

Annis can you make this thread a 'stinky' instead of a sticky?

I know mate, sometimes my poo is like supermarket sweep - mushrooms, peas, jalapenos and always spinach after a sag aloo!!

Forget to mention sometimes wipe and tissue is covered in blood thats after a heavy session on the bow and i force a log out

Don't worry - blood on the tissue is natures way of telling you that yo' ass is clean!

Lets lighten the mood.

How many people on here have a look at the paper after a wipe? I used to have a sneaky sniff too till i dabbed my nose on some brown and my partner had to point it out!!!

Wouldn't go that far, however do have an iPad and beats reading shampoo bottles....

I will have to log-off from this excellent thread soon. Nowadays, when I need to "bomb Dresden" I usually say that I'm off for a Tate.

Also, why is it,whilst "hovering" on rare occasions in public toilets, there is always one finger mark, skidding down the wall?

I tend to head for a Wetherspoons on a public visit, the other bugger is the 'lifted seat' which leaves a gap between seat and pan leading to piss hitting your trousers as it pours through the gap!!!

If I'm caught short and need to go with no public bogs about, I will usually head to a pub/cafe/restaurant - whatever is available. I make sure that I do not make eye contact with the bar staff and make out that I am looking for a friend. This is only for number ones mind, not the two's. I would never do two's by choice outside of my home or office, for fear of the Bum Goblin.

So all, a smart bird who stinks the bog and leaves a skidder - an issue???

And ANiis, Carl, Gwynn you must tell us - Sam Hamman, top guffer, toilet troubler???

So all, a smart bird who stinks the bog and leaves a skidder - an issue???

If she's smart, It's just a tissue-issue. Bone her blind and be done with it, mustangs and all!

Hopefully a poor wiper too, make it easier to 'change lanes'

Hopefully a poor wiper too, make it easier to 'change lanes'

......Post certainly did lift the spirits after in the present doldrums - good work. If the Jerks do Reading I shall be posting a new subject next Monday called "Common Cookery Accidents" and my first entry will be about going for a pee after cutting chili's up. G' Night Y'All!

this is a great thread

i cant remember the last time i managed a 'one wipe'