Life of Brian 4

Cardiff City Managers Office.

It's the last day of the International Break.

Everyone has come back to work after 3 week off.

BBM is just finishing a call. ‘No Jack, the 14 day cooling off period has expired and you can't go back to Lincoln.’


Faithful Lee 'Blimey' O'Rielly walks in.


Lee; Hi Pep, Bejasus, How was the International Break?


Lee has spent the entire 3 weeks using his new AI inspired Duolingo App to make him sound more like BBM. He ticked the options to digitally re-mumble his voice into very fast, impenetrable Southern Ireland accent. When it asked 'Do you want to change anything else?', Lee said 'No.'


BBM; 'Lee, stop calling me that. I'm my own man. I don't just do everything Pep does.'


BBM is flicking through a glossy brochure titled 'Investing in luxury apartments in Manchester and Abu Dhabi – don't let the rules get in the way'


Lee; 'What did you get up to in the International Break, bejasus?'


BBM; 'Well, the football is all sorted, nothing to change there, so I did quite a bit of Community Work.'


Lee; 'Nice, bejasus.'


BBM; 'Yeah, on the Garvaghy Road if you have 100% possession of the Queen's Highway, there is nothing the opposition can do about it. Also spent some time throwing tennis balls at a pensioner on a golf course.'


Lee; (puzzled) 'Right. Were any of the tennis balls on target?'


BBM; 'Well. Some fell short, some went over his head, some to the left and some to the right. But the satistical analysis tells me the mean average of all of them was on target. You can't argue with the statistics.'


Lee; 'Bit like our shooting then, bejasus.'


BBM; 'Lee, why is my desk all sticky? Tastes like maple syrup.'


Lee; 'The Analyst has been sat there for the full 3 weeks. He thought sitting at your desk and looking at your Premier League Academy certificates might inspire him. Though they look a bit tainted now. Maybe it's the sunlight.'


BBM; 'Aah, so that's what this folder is all about - Potential Alternative Tactics and Formations for the Block of Games before the next International Break. We won't be needing that.'


BBM puts it in the bin.


Lee; 'Pep, there seems to be a growing view that we are a little bit predictable, bejasus.'


BBM; 'I knew you were going to say that. That's why for Blackburn tomorrow we are doing the same thing again. Nobody will expect it.'


Lee; 'Tony Mowbray, bejasus, is a wiley old bird - won't he have us all sussed out?'


BBM; 'Has he been spying on us? How can he possibly know what I'm going to do? He's a dinosaur, Lee. I'm operating on a higher level. There's no way the plan can fail this time.'


Lee; 'Bejasus.'