bullshit deadline thread ' Have a Laugh thread '

joey bartons girlfriend has left the toilet after passing what we believe was a loose stool following
a luke warm leftover chow mein

Planet Swans fail in loan bid for James Barnett so have now turned their attention to Barry Chuckles.

LATEST: Barry Chuckles has moaned that the ink used to sign the contract was black and not blue. Huw Jenkins seen in Staples looking for a more traditional stationery set.

Joe Kinnear bids 14m for Justin Fashanu

Planet Swans fail in loan bid for James Barnett so have now turned their attention to Barry Chuckles.

LATEST: Barry Chuckles has moaned that the ink used to sign the contract was black and not blue. Huw Jenkins seen in Staples looking for a more traditional stationery set.

dale winton has no interest in moving to halifax ,he told sky sources "the saunas are crap "

Bruce Forsyth seen outside turf moor getting wanked off by Georgina Thompson, if his agent wurzell gummage can carry his chin into the stadium apparantly he's signing for Burnley for an undisclosed fee

Joe Kinnear bids 14m for Justin Fashanu

bruce has shot his load
forsythes man milk causes flood in burnley,
deal off but daniel levy has inserted a finger up his hole

Marouanne Fellini just pulled up outside turf moor in a corsa canoue 16valve turbo to wash his hair in Bruce forsyths man milk as David moyes said he will only push through the deal if fellaini scrubs his head to get carol vordermans tampon out as part of the deal

Paul Gascoine spotted outside St James Park with a bucket of KFC and a fishing rod.

willy wonka in hull slurping milk from steve bruces tits,possible loan move

steve bruce earlier confirmed his nose talks to him in times of need

Steve Bruce's Nose is believed to be in talks with the right side of his face about a possible move. the left side has no attraction any more

Batfink offers 4m to Dangermouse for Penfold

Hong Kong Phoeey considers joining the bidding war

Lionel messi in shock switch to Accrington Stamley the deal hinged on Messi getting clearance for his cat and Mother in Law and the necessary paperwork was completed with 2 minutes to spare!!!!!!!!

david villa seen leaving nandos in coventry,
sky sources believe he went in for a shit

Peter Odemwingies agent signs for Brighton who also fancy Lee Camp

gary barlows mother seen leaving ccs under police escort after talks about regular hand jobs for kenwyn jones hit a snag

The funniest ones in here were from Moz

Tom Ince just signed for his 86th club today. He has 3 hours to complete the final few to make it 92 clubs in 24 hours.

Roy Cropper says he is not going to Haley 's funeral as he is making his debut for Bury on Saturday.

Man city bid £8million for everton dildo

Michael Jackson spotted outside Craven Cottage.

Swiss president Didier Burkhalter expresses concerns regarding BSC Young Boys appointing Cliff Richard as honorary squad masseur.

Vincent Tan scupperes any hopes of Danny Gabbidon homecoming because he found a more suitable person in ex Cardiff legend John "freddy krugar" Williams available for defensive player coach role for only 24 cans of Special Brew a day.

Doogie Howser signs for Rochdale. Wrecked the press coverage by stripping naked and rubbing a sausage barm over his greying genitalia. Singing "Oh Annie, I'm not your Daddy".

He's gonna play the anchor in a midfield diamond reported the Lancashire post.

On hearing Ebola has entered the UK Harry Redknap has said he will offer £3m and was quoted "I haven't seen him play yet but I'm sure he'll do a killing here"

Charlie Oatway convinces both OGS and VT he still got the minerals to shore up Cardiff's midfield woes on a pay as you play contract for a gram of Mephedrone for every minute spent on the pitch in a City shirt. Vincent Tan was said to be thinking of rolling out this as standard to the ŕest of the squad as they appear to be quite flat at the moment.

Charlie Oatway convinces both OGS and VT he still got the minerals to shore up Cardiff's midfield woes on a pay as you play contract for a gram of Mephedrone for every minute spent on the pitch in a City shirt. Vincent Tan was said to be thinking of rolling out this as standard to the ŕest of the squad as they appear to be quite flat at the moment.

Milky signs cornelius up us for £15 million including an undisclosed fee for himself and moody... oh