Just A Reminder

Just a reminder to those who stole electrical goods in last year's riots.....your one year manufacturers warranty runs out any day now.

Someone wrote "mong" on my car windscreen. It's taken me hours to lick it off.

Someone wrote "mong" on my car windscreen. It's taken me hours to lick it off.

Woke up this morning at 6am with a wicked hangover, listening to the neighbour mowing his f***ing lawn. First reaction was to get up and throttle the tw@t, then I thought "f*** it, he'll just have to mow around me."

Mum cleaning her 12 year old son's bedroom, finds a load of serious bondage gear and fetish mags.

She asks her husband "what do I do?"

Husband says "I'm no expert, but I wouldn't spank him."

After proposing to his girlfriend at the weekend, Paddy drove to Brighton for a night of passion. As he pulled up at a red light, he slid his hand under her skirt, above her stockings.

She whispered in his ear "now we are engaged, you can go further."

Paddy drove on to Bournemouth.

All good stuff!