OT Unwanted Phone Calls

From 18:00 this evening my wife's Mobile and My landline have been bombarded by Unwanted phone calls (MarketSales,BT,BritishGas and window and door sales).

Kind of annoying, but I have my own way of doing things.

First came several 0845 calls on wife's Moby (She got frustrated and told em to F-Off) I called them back spoke to some guy then asked him why he keeps phoning my 13yr old daughters phone? And if it persists I will contact the police!!
I was told "the number will be withdrawn from database"

Then BT and British Gas were told if they valued their current customers more and offered them the best deals (instead of new customers) then they would lose so many per yer resulting in,well this phone call.

market reaserchers get put on loud speaker and asked to hold 2 secs whilst I deal with my child!!
Then treated to mr tumble's theme song until they give up.

Lastly my Fav the window guy!!!

Before he gets into full flow I say "Mate on a scale of 1-10(10 being I've been waiting at the phone all day for this call)
How interested do you honestly think I am?"

My father in law let a double glazing salesman go through all of his sales talk, let him take all the information he required, came across as being 100% interested. Let the salesman make an appointment.................................then told him he lived in a council flat and had a CCJ against his name. They never bothered him again.

I just say can you hang on a sec there's someone at.the.door . Carry on doing whatever I was doing , then check the phone after about ten minutes , only once as somebody hang on ( must have been his first day ) .

I just say can you hang on a sec there's someone at.the.door . Carry on doing whatever I was doing , then check the phone after about ten minutes , only once as somebody hang on ( must have been his first day ) .

There used to be some BT or Offcom thing whereby you could opt out of that sort of shite but its all fallen by the wayside since the collapse of socialism in the former soviet union. Now you have highly trained computer specialists who bypass the systems using the social networks and sell on details to the "marketing" companies. Nothing illegal in what the "hackers" are doing, they will all look like top models, be sort of lesbian and take up the CCMB if you ask nicely. The marketing wankers, however, are lower than a bankers sole (sole of feet, not racist in any way for the hard of thinking), total scum, would stick a blue thong on a 67 year old former tart if it served their purposes. Business plan this, business plan that, oooo I can't bend over to be shagged up the arse if you don't have a business plan, it is most important. I assume that's the reason for all the moaning (sic) from the marketing fraternity, they bend over and get shagged by some successful person who has no doubt hired in a homosexual to do the deed as it were.

Anyway, now I've got that off my chest, marketing my arse, cunts the lot of them, back to aj's dilemma.

When I was first confronted by odd phone calls during the day I shot the phone with a twelve bore, won't do that again, bloody police confiscated it and revoked my firearms licence making it a tad difficult to utilise the same principle in the current climate. Bloody modern day technology, mobile phones and shit but I digress. Would be like a clay pigeon shoot though

I did stop the calls by being ever so polite and very, very interested, was a double glazing window type company, didn't take more than two or three nano seconds to work it that is was Marketing bastards doing their evil work (yes I am a marketingist and proud). I asked lots of questions about the quality of the product, the installation, gurantees, etc, etc. more or less agreed a price when it came to the money shot.

By this stage, the marketer would have been dreaming of having some hot food in his belly and possibly sleeping in a hostel bed that evening until I wiped out his dreams with one little phrase.

"Credit Black list" if you can loan me the money to buy I'll buy.