Things to NEVER Say to a Women During Sex

Cool, I've never been to the Grand Canyon.

How many storage boxes can you fit in there?!

You must be very experienced.

Remember, you said this was a freebie...right?

Wait, let me get a board and rope so I don't fall in.

I gotta take off my watch, wouldn't wanna lose it.

Why do you wear a bra when you've already got a belt?

So this is why you're supposed to judge people on personality.

Look ... I can get my whole arm in.

It's a good thing you have so many other talents.

Is that an optical illusion?

If I look right at it, I feel like I'm falling in.

Would you mind wearing a paper sack on your head?

Do you mind if I wear one too...in case yours falls off?

Jeez...What ya got up there, dead fish?

I heard you could suck the chrome off a trailer hitch.

I've been wondering all night what that smell was.

Maybe if I get really wasted I won't mind your body.

Everybody down at the bar said you were good.

I expect a good time ... at least, the bathroom wall said so.

You're not as ugly as people claim, not quite anyway.

You're not that fat.

I see why everyone said, with you, it's better with the lights out.

Wow, you like it the same way your little sister does. CCFC

All right mate.. What you doing up there...

f**k me that's where the number 17 is

Are they bollocks...

Your not as good as your sister or your mum

With my massive cock I think I should be able to just about touch the sides...

f**k me it's so wide, have you just given birth

f**k me that's not a man in a boat, it's more like 10 men on a trawler...

Christ if your lips were any longer they'd be touching your knees

God your so tight. Are you a virgin.. Oh my mistake wrong hole...

If I ever need somewhere to hide my stash, I will let you know

Where's my watch...

My mates are gonna love watching this

Don't worry I will pull the little fella out...

I'm dyeing for a piss... Ahhhhh that's better

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my type of lady.

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Your sisters minge is much more tighter

class

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my type of lady.

I still have a go..

will u marry me

f**k me it will be like chucking a chip down the kingsway!!but your here now.

f**k me it will be like chucking a chip down the kingsway!!but your here now.

Pass me the sky remote

My best mates ched evans.

My best mates ched evans.

o. shit no.