JOKE SUNDAY ( FEW TONGUE IN CHEEK ONES ) BE WARNED

Two horses had to be put down after yesterdays Grand National.

Luis Suarez was reportedly devastated that one of them was not 'Black Apalachi'

I can imagine things never went that well for Sean Connery whenever he told a woman to sit on his dick.

That's the worst decision involving Chelsea and a line since Adrian Mutu had his big night out

All these Spurs jokes are crossing the line!

I asked my mate, when it was ok to have sex with young girls? He said it's legal once they leave school. Apparently 3:15pm isn't what he meant!!

I'm disappointed in that group of Chelsea fans who couldn't have a one minute silence as a mark of respect for Hillsborough.

Especially as they normally have 90 minute ones at Stamford Bridge

What's the difference between a Lesbian in a porno and a real life one?

About 12 stone.

What time is it ??

5 past Spurs

The white kit, the over-expectant fans and the total collapse in a
huge game.

Harry Redknapp must think he's England manager already

I was minding my own business when someone called me a retard,

I almost choked on my shoelace.

My sexy neighbour has left her curtains open slightly, so I'm watching her masturbate with my telescope.

I can't see very well, though. If only I had my telescope.

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"Jesus loves you."

A nice gesture in church.

A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

Footballers are well known for spitting during games. Skrtel doesn't spit, however.

He uses Water Gun.

Being a Spurs fan is like living in Josef Fritzel's basement.

Everytime you see a glimmer of light you get fucked.


(thats 2 threads I have probably managed to close)

I was out on the town last night and this attractive black lady walked up to me, smiled, and said "fancy walking me home big boy?" I replied "f**k off! Africa's 3,600 miles away!"