Things that turn you off a bird

What kind of things would turn you off a bird? Tbh I think these do;

Smoking
Tattoos
Lots of spots
Bad teeth
Bad hygiene
Bad fake tan
Bad dress sense

A penis?

Fake tan
hair extentions
false eyelashes
drawn on eyebrows older women

basically these fake sluts that seem to be in the world thesedays!

In order..

1/ Smoking (lack of intelligence)
2/ Fake tan (especially when its still on their hands)
3/ Tattoos (slapper alert)

Bad Breath
Smelly Feet

A penis?

hahahahahaha

When they wake up

Tatoos?

Kat Von D is sexy as fook.

having opinions.

Hairy backs...

having opinions.

You're gay then are you?
Every girl has them

having opinions.

You're gay then are you?
Every girl has them

Blonde ones don't .... and the really cheeky ones go down into the cellar


......AND THAT'S WHERE THEY STAY!!!!!!!

having opinions.

You're gay then are you?
Every girl has them

Not if your father is Josef Fritzel

Breasts which are uneven..
Fat birds...
Smelly fannys...
Hairy armpits...
Testicles...
Holes you could park a mini in...
Nasal hair...
Hangy down lips which look as if they could drag on the floor...
Girls who believe anything you say...
Girls who don't mind you sticking fruit in them... Boring after a while
Girls who try to convert you to jehovahs witnesses...
Girls who expect you to pay for everything...
Girls who can't drive even after passing test...
Girls who think there it
Girls with bad faces but nice tits...
Girls who when there being nailed by your mate in Finland don't mind you filming them but wont suck your cock...
Could be here a while......

Girls who will let you get there tits out in flares but wont suck your cock...
Girls who say no after they've said yes...
Girls who say.. It's alright, there's always next time..........

Breasts which are uneven..
Fat birds...
Smelly fannys...
Hairy armpits...
Testicles...
Holes you could park a mini in...
Nasal hair...
Hangy down lips which look as if they could drag on the floor...
Girls who believe anything you say...
Girls who don't mind you sticking fruit in them... Boring after a while
Girls who try to convert you to jehovahs witnesses...
Girls who expect you to pay for everything...
Girls who can't drive even after passing test...
Girls who think there it
Girls with bad faces but nice tits...
Girls who when there being nailed by your mate in Finland don't mind you filming them but wont suck your cock...
Could be here a while......

You've had some pretty strange experiences havn't you?

Girls who get so pissed they don't notice there tits hanging out on dance floor...
Girls who take you home for a cwtch...
Ggirls who get so pissed that when it's time to get down to it there sleeping so you don't get chance to ask if there on the pill...
Girls who say there into this and into that but can only do missionary position...
Girls who when doing reverse cowboy don't like a finger in there arse...
Girls who have problems with my mates watching whilst on tour...
Girls who expect you to pay for taxi when it's time for them to leave hotel...
Girls who don't like going to lap dancing clubs and having a dance paid for then erupting as if something wrong and leaving me to have 2 dancers at once...then having a face on cos I didn't leave...
Girls who have loads of dildos but won't let you shove it up there... On them not me

The best girl, worked at a store on Newport road and didn't mind me bending her over in stock room and giving her one... Plus she would suck it anywhere.... Great times..

Oh and girls who don't appreciate you trying to get another girl to join them...

And

Girls who are all over you but still don't appreciate you trying to stick a finger in while dancing in flares...
Girls who don't like porn...
Girls who go on about there ex when all you want to do is spunk over her face...


That's it I think.. Probably think of some other conquests while I'm here

Ely girl with cold sore trying to neck you even through I couldn't walk after the play off final v QPR
Another Ely girl who didn't appreciate me fighting with her brother who caught me with his younger sister in garden...
Also the Neighbours young 17 year old giving me the eye.... She's lost some weight now and doesn't look to bad but a little close to home me thinks....

Last one

Girls who are gorgeous and you go to meet the parents only to find the mother used to shag your brother...And is a right goer
Girls who say no when you know they really mean yes...... Joking


f**k me if my wife looked at this..... She would deffo cut it off

girls who make you take your kids down the chinese with you so they can have some peace and quiet for a bit but thus meaning you cannot go to the bookies, thus meaning you cannot do the 20.00 double you had planned, thus meaning you "lost out" on 50.00

The smell of fish..

A hairy gash

LOL! Best thread I've read for ages

girls who make you take your kids down the chinese with you so they can have some peace and quiet for a bit but thus meaning you cannot go to the bookies, thus meaning you cannot do the 20.00 double you had planned, thus meaning you "lost out" on 50.00

Divorce her then!

Not really very keen on the walrus/beached whale look.
Women who can't string a sentence together.
Smokers.
Bits of metal pierced through their faces.

BIG units.
Massive feet.
deeper voice than mine
nits

Girls that dont swallow on first date

when they start talking does it for me

Smoking…..only thick people smoke.

What kind of things would turn you off a bird? Tbh I think these do;

Smoking
Tattoos
Lots of spots
Bad teeth
Bad hygiene
Bad fake tan
Bad dress sense

Don't go to Swansea on a night out then