JOKE FRIDAY

My daughter and I went backstage at a Justin Bieber concert when he burst into the room and squirted cum all over my daughter's face. I was horrified.

Who the hell farts in a child's face?!

Just before I was sentenced to life in jail I decided to get a tattoo of my wife's face on my arse cheeks.

Whoever tries raping me now is a braver man than I.

my epileptic friend is very touchy about his recent diarrhoea bug. He's always having a shit fit.

Paddy says to Murphy ''Why do scuba divers fall of the boat backwards'', Murphy says''Ya thick tw*t. If they fell forward they would still be on the boat''