I MET MY!!!

new girlfriends parents last nite. Her dad took me to one side & said "If you ever hurt her you will have to answer to me". I said "thats highly unlikey i have only got a small cock & she has an arsehole like a hippos yawn"

Went to the doctors and he told me i needed a pacemaker, so now I"ve got this annoying kenyan tw*t 2 yards in front of me everywhere I go!

Went to the doctors and he told me i needed a pacemaker, so now I"ve got this annoying kenyan tw*t 2 yards in front of me everywhere I go!

A blind man went for a job in a timber yard saying "he could identify any wood by it's smell. So they tested him on different types of wood & he guessed them right everytime, so to catch him out the secretary stripped off her clothes and laid naked on the floor with her legs open so the blind had a sniff & he said " he was'nt sure & asked for the wood to be turned over..he sniffed again & said " you can't fool me it's an old shithouse door of a fishing boat......"