wednesday joke thread

Did you hear about the midget fortune teller fraud that escaped from jail?
The next day the headlines read: 'Small medium at large.'

My missus dressed up as a police woman last night and giggled, "You're being charged for being good in bed..."

After 2 minutes she said she was dropping the charge due to lack of evidence.

the fa have brought in a new rule today. any player who passes to andy carrol will be booked for timewasting

my missus and kids are set to leave me due to my horse racing addiction...........and theyre off

some women would be over the moon to be woken up on their birthday with a cooked breakfast,bunch of flowers,french perfume and 20minutes of oral sex.........But ohhh no, not my f*cking sister...