JOKE TUESDAY

"Are you a breast man or a leg man?" asked my mate.

"Breast" I said.

"Pussy or arse?"

"Pussy."

"What about noses?"

"Look can we just put the bits in the sack and get the f**k out of this morgue?"

I love Australian kissing my girlfriend.

It's like French kissing, only down under.

ET never went home, it raided KFC, put on 19 stone and joined Little Mix.

ET never went home, it raided KFC, put on 19 stone and joined Little Mix.

I thought it was Snarf off Thundercats.

My new girlfriend's called Donna...

Which is about right as she goes down great after 10 pints.

Mrs Thatcher has set out in great detail the arrangements for her funeral. Great. Now that's sorted let's get on with it.

The poem to get you into any women's knickers.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
Ive got a knife
Now get in the f*cking van!

A bloke goes to a brothel,goes to a room with a whore & puts £200 on the bed then drops his trousers. The whore nearly faints the blokes got a 12inch cock. The whore say's "theres f*cking no way is that going in me i'll lick & suck it thats all.." The bloke picks his money back up & say's " f**k that i can do that myself...."

I feel sorry for Manchester City fans. It's never easy to lose against your former team.

Google "define an English person" and see what the first result is.

ET never went home, it raided KFC, put on 19 stone and joined Little Mix.

I thought it was Snarf off Thundercats.

i can see what you mean!

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