Sunday joke time

I phoned the police the other day."What's your emergency?" they asked.I said, "Two girls are fighting over me.""OK," she paused. "Well what's the problem?""The fat one's winning."

What do scousers put in there Xmas stockings??

There heads!

......you out Sat mate

A Chinese guy goes to a Jew to buy black bras, size 38FF.The Jew, renowned for his skills as a businessman, says that black bras are rare and that he is finding it very difficult to buy them from his suppliers. Therefore he has to charge $50.00 for them.The Chinese guy buys 25. He returns a few days later and this time orders fifty. The Jew tells him that they have become even harder to get and charges him $60.00 each.The Chinese guy returns a month later and buys the Jew's remaining stock of 50, and this time for $75.00 each.The Jew is somewhat puzzled by the large demand for black size 38FF bras and asks the Chinese guy, "...please tell me - What do you do with all these black bras?"The Chinese guy answers: "I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to you Jews for $200.00 each."

:lol: ......you out Sat mate

Yes mate!! Big big game!

Is the pool comp still on? I noticed you put my name down

:lol: ......you out Sat mate

Yes mate!! Big big game!

Is the pool comp still on? I noticed you put my name down

Baz ..you know it makes sense ..your brother in law is down too ....see you for a beer on Sat mate

I was going down on my girlfriend earlier and the smell from her vagina was terrible!!

I think it might be time to bury her 

I got myself one of those anti bullying wrist bands today............ I stole it off a fat ginger c**t with glasses.

At a White House party, a woman approached Calvin Coolidge, famed for his silence, and said "Mr. President, I made a bet I can get more than two words out of you." He replied: "You lose."