JOKE THURSDAY

Went to weight watchers last nite, i opened a packet of maltesers and threw them all over the floor.......best game of hungry hippos i,ve ever seen.

Fatima Whitbread only became a javelin thrower after failing to make it as a hurdler.

Her balls kept getting caught on the hurdles.

Went to weight watchers last nite, i opened a packet of maltesers and threw them all over the floor.......best game of hungry hippos i,ve ever seen.

My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't stop using Lord of the Rings dirty talk.

I think I crossed the line when I opened her arsecheeks and said "The One Ring to Rule Them All".

My mate used to be the human cannonball at the circus... basic wage plus travelling expenses.

How do you make a hot dog?
Put a pair of crotchless knickers on it.

I went to the bank to check my balance today, in front of me was a one legged armless black man, i could see he was having trouble getting his card into the ATM, so i asked him if he would like me to check his balance, he replied if you would be so kind.......

So i pushed the cnut over

When i was a kid, mum would send me to shops with 50p. I could get a mars bar, bag of pick 'n' mix, a comic book, can of lilt big bag of monster munch,a lucky bag, handful of penny sweets, stick on tattoos, a gob stopper AND still come home with loads of
change... you can't do that these days. And why? f*cking shops installed CCTV