joke

Lady puts an ad in the paper:
"Lookin 4 a man that wont beat me or run away but whos great in bed".
Next day doorbell rings "Hi I'm Bob, I've no arms-so I'll nevr hit u, I've no legs so I wont run away"
Lady says "Wat makes u think ur gud in bed?" Bob replies "How d'ya think I rang the fuckng doorbell!!''

Paddys wife says "I want a rape alarm"So next morning he covers her mouth, holds her down, fucks her up the arse and whispers "Its time to get up love!''

My wife was arrested for streaking at Crufts.
The judge gave her 2nd place for her puppies but said her Afgan could do with a trim!